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Where Are You?

You were here then you were gone,
right in the middle of our song.
I shouldn’t be left alone so long
here in the dark by myself.
Where are you?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Beating gold member
    October 2, 2007

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    wow. I like how you say that your love can disappear just in a blink of an eye. And then you'll be alone in the dark, left to ask the question. Very well written!


  • vici377
    September 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    love the ending.. Where are you?..You say so much in this write.. good luck in the contest..


  • LadyDementia gold member
    September 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great piece, good luck!


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 22, 2007

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    I agree, that second line is quite effective. I must admit I don't care for your ending line, (I'm sorry) it just seems to kind of take an easy out. But this is a nice piece, good luck in the contest.

    ♥
    whisper


  • LadyUnique silver member
    September 22, 2007

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    'right in the middle of our song' kinda catches ya and gives the heart a little clutch. mighty fine phrasing right there it sure shows a sudden departure!
    i liked this

1 - 5 of 5