Distance hinders our time together
Though our hearts beat in synchrony
Wishing you were in my arms
Not half the world away
Tomorrow is always closer
A contest entry
- Missing / Longing in 5 lines! by Beating.
600 points, ended October 8, 2007, 34 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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awww how sweet was this. This took my breath away.
tahnks so much for sharing here on ap.
We need more love in the air
great job and best wishes to you.
Tory -
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Thanks very much I'm glad you like this piece. It's a far cry form my usual writing, and yes, Love could be spread around a little more.
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ahhhh ... I see you CAN write lovingly too huh?
lol - I enjoyed this one - it oozes hope (something this world could do a lot better for)
well done!
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Dark, Love or erotica..I write them all, lol.
Hope is what keeps us grounded, Love is what gives us wings. Glad you like this piece, and thanks for commenting
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wow. Well, I guess you're right. Tomorrow is always one day closer. I really love how you wrote this, because you truly got the pain and beauty of love out in such a short piece. Exactly what I wanted! Stunning piece!
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...I like the feeling of the promise going to be fulfilled...the yearning seems to emanate a happy ending, least I hope so...Long disatance relationship maybe?.....Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks for your kind comments and for reading this piece. Glad you like it
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Lovely
such a sweet read, good luck! -
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Thanks very much. Glad you liked this piece, and thanks for reading/commenting on it
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I like how tomorrow is a world away is so screwed up here...there's kinda like a hidden knowledge here...that tomorrow is closer, I self sure knowing. I like this Dmonik
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Thanks Wolfy Tomorrow is always closer. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece, and thanks for commenting
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wow. this is an amazing write. i really connected with this piece. its wonderfully penned.
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Thanks very much for your kind words and comments. I'm glad that you were able to connect with it
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Beautiful write. lol thats a word i dont use very often with you. good luck in the contest.
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lol. You can say that again
Glad you like it Bell, it's probably one of my most personal pieces. Even if it wasn't for a contest, this, I would have submitted.
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I really like this, long distance relationships are hard, but they can work (I'm proof). Good luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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They can and do work. Distance is measured in miles, Love is measured in shared heartbeats. Thanks for reading and commenting
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This is very beautiful. Your use of words is very good. I like that you used "hinders" and "in synchrony" rather than something simpler which may have said the same thing. This brings a lot more meaning to this piece.
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Thanks very much for your kind words and comments Greatly appreciated
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Very good
You can feel the longing in this poem.. and how you miss your loved one.. love the line wishing you were in my arms.. simple, yet says much.. and the ending is excellent also.. Tomorrow is always closer.. it gives the reader some hope..great write.. good luck in the contest..
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Thanks very much for your kind comments. Tomorrow is always closer, and one day, the tomorow will become the today when everything becomes complete.
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