Oh Jerusalem
Why do ancient walls call me
You are not my home.
Oh Jerusalem
I long to walk down your streets,
To be choked with dust.
You’ve had kings, beggars,
And all prophets at your doors
So why draw me in?
Since my Canaan is
The land that’s my home, Penn’s Woods,
I need no foreign soil.
What can I offer
That is not already yours
You, City of God
Author notes
Haiku chain! Penn's Woods refers to Pennsylvania, 'cause I'm a Quaker so...yeah. Comment if you don't understand.
A contest entry
- Anything you like by skull8686.
400 points, ended October 2, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dust Off Those Old Haiku (Traditional 5-7-5) by Pollycheck.
425 points, ended December 15, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haikus by MyDecember.
450 points, ended March 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
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this is very good. i love that youve made references to the historic aspects.
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Oh Jerusalem
Why do ancient walls call me
You are not my home.
Oh Jerusalem
I long to walk down your streets,
To be choked with dust.
You’ve had kings, beggars,
And all prophets at your doors
So why draw me in?
Since my Canaan is
The land that’s my home, Penn’s Woods,
I need no foreign soil.
What can I offer
That is not already yours
You, City of God
Thank you for entering my ku contest. this is a well written haiku chain, but I think that I have found an error in your syllable count.
"I need no foreign soil" was checked with two different online syllable counters and they both came up with a count of 6 vice the required 5. -
I started doing some research on Quakerism, which was really quite interesting...
But to say something about your poem, I really enjoyed reading this write, though I usually like Haiku too much. but you made this flow so naturally that I didn't even notice it was a haiku chain until you mentioned that!
Okay, I'll write you an IM instead of going on here...
Annie
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Good
well done i like Jerusalem to. good luck
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