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Crutch

Ride the strip in a red Jaguar,
Martinis at the local bar.
Lottery tickets, money to burn,
coffee and danish As the World Turns.
Cruise cheap thrills on the Internet, 
smoke just one more cigarette.
Slice your skin, release the pain;
Christ crucified; bore all our shame.

Choose your crutch, recalling He
said "If you're weary, lean on me."



Walking Stick

you choose
bright red sports car
beer from the liquor store
stack of scratch tickets on pay day
coffee and danish while watching The View
cruise cheap thrills on the Internet
smoke one more cigarette
the cross of Christ
you choose.












Author notes

I chose to use a Rictameter (form) rather for my "free verse".
I hope that's ok?

Watermarked on lower right.

In a list

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • debilynn gold member
    July 22

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    this poem is a blessing to all who read and get the message. wonderful poem. you are such a great poet. thank you for sharing your amazing talment sis. God keep and bless you.

  • piccola silver member
    July 16

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    great work. Both forms are done equally well in my estimation. You seem able to do both with ease. Thank you for entering.


  • Griswold silver member
    July 15

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    Nicely done Joyce, I like the two different forms you used to say the same thing. I went a slightly different rout. But then, I always do.. Best of luck... Scott

  • thank you very much for entering this contest with you wonderful write. i wish you the best of luck in this contest. viyanna rosemarie


  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very well said here

    Yes often in life so many becomes lost and tries everything to find their happiness only to realize when they hit bottom he has always been there and once they take his hand they begin to rise and find the happiness they so needed


  • Radiance
    September 2, 2008

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    This is such a powerful and meaningful poem, even with so few words. So many people turn to the wrong things in their times of need or trouble, rather than searching for God to soothe them. It really brought certain people to mind, for me.

    Thank you for sharing, and God bless. Beautiful write!


    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      September 2, 2008
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      I think most of us turn to habits or addictions of some sort to soothe ourselves. This poem is as much for me as anybody.

      Thanks for your comment!


  • ourgirlFriday
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well,

    Took a few reads to sink in, but finally captured, I think, the essence of the poem. Well penned! You really can do a lot with very few words!


    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      August 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      My mottos on poetry:

      Show, don't tell.
      Less is more.

      Thanks for your comments!


  • Intravenous Jesus
    August 10, 2008
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    sorry, I was gonna give you a clappy guy and forgot, so here


  • Intravenous Jesus
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, and thanks for entering my contest. If your 50 point entry fee is in within 24 hours I'll tack it onto the gold prize, and if you don't have the points in that ammount of time, your poem will be removed, but you can enter again, so long as you can put up the 50 point bid


  • FifthDove
    May 4, 2008

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    Such a powerful poem here, each line is filled with impact. Nice choices of scenarios also. The background is very crisp and clean looking and I can see could be for many different writes. Nice work on both! Thank you for the entry and best wishes in the contest


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    Beautiful Border. It is true so many crutches for people to lean on. Great message, Good luck in the contest.


  • debilynn gold member
    May 1, 2008
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    excellent write sister! what a great message you share in these lines - lean on Him, no matter what you do or have done, you will be forgiven. Jesus Christ is the only "crutch" i need. thank you for sharing this. keep writing! God bless you always

  • Bob Fox
    April 11, 2008

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    well

    I must say this is one very direct piece of writing. I do love the powerand honesty ofit. That crutch, especially in todays world, seems to be so common. Bravo to you


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 16, 2008

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    Wanted to say I love your author page - great graphics and pictures you have on this page. What a great message you share in these lines - lean on Him, no matter what you do or have done, you will be forgiven.

  • Jpoteet
    January 29, 2008
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    WOW! This was very short but hit the point perfectly, good write!


  • thelordreigns gold member
    January 24, 2008

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    The cross of Christ is all we need. No addictive crutch can come close to the peace and happiness we find in Him.

    Well done dear friend. I love the background too!

    - joanne

  • Bob Fox
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting way

    Of saying, at least as I see it, that we take for granted the easy life we can have without ever appreciating it. Please correct me if I am wrong


    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      January 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Each line describes an everyday sort of "crutch" we come to rely on to live within our skin, not always an addiction but a ritual that can be addictive, and yet not fulfilling. The final 2 lines refer to the "cross" as the "best" crutch, that we rely on Jesus primarily to keep us sane and on the right path.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.


  • lindaburns gold member
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My Mom – God rest her – would say “People today
    have no shame.” Heaven help me, I’d take the
    lottery tickets and the Oreos myself.


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    November 25, 2007

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    This poem revealed so much about our society and how we use anything and everything to lean on...except Jesus the Christ! But patiently He waits...still

    Excellent portrayal of how much we should depend on God instead of things of this world!

    GBY
    SilverButterfly


  • Sonja
    October 18, 2007

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    Interesting point of view...The cross of Christ, took all our shame... To take and use the Crutch and to use the others to take our shame? The other way could be to think before we make it, to find the faith in our hearts and not to blame somebody other for our own mistakes. I call it "the run away of responsibilities". A great theme to ponder about it. This is the perfect way to show your personal sarcasm about it and your poem has a great end. This is a bit different spiritual poem that I am used to read. Good luck.
    ~Sonja~


    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      October 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      They can all be used as crutches, choices of ways to cope or feel better, what we choice to "lean on" Some can be addictions.

      The cross of Christ ios another choice, to lean on God's mercy and Grace as we walk His path.


  • RuLives4GodOnly
    September 24, 2007

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    "Lean on Me is His plea" very popwerful. Yet, if that His plea, then why don't we answer by cassting all our cares and troubles on HIm? We can't we be submissive to His Will and die to our flesh instead of being rebellious and hard-headed? Man! That bugs me so much sometimes! Why us humans gotta have the last Word?!(Well, in retrospect we don't, HE does but we feel like we need to). I wonder why is that?


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 23, 2007

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    this is so distinct in your words,very nicely posted as he the Lord our commander of hearts,deeply appreciates,thanks for entering and good luck..mm


  • Mirthryl
    September 22, 2007

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    Great title. Can apply to the first part of the poem, the crutches we easily select, or to the second part, with Christ as the sure crutch for all cripples and every infirmity. We can completely rely on and make progress with His aid, direction and strength. Very nice.


    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      September 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Jesus and his cross is one of the options we can choose to lean on, or we can find our own way of coping with life, our own "crutch".

      You may recognize the theme from another piece of mine. I wanted to try it again, without syllable constraints.

      Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

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