I stand alone,
An empty shell,
One among many,
Another number,
Another day.
My dark brown greasy hair,
Resting on my back,
My dull eyes of blue and green,
I do not want them to be seen,
But they are,
and I hate it.
Stop pointing,Stop laughing,
I've had enough,
I want out,
But I can't
Nobody cares,
They all just laugh or stare.
I stand alone,
My dark shadow follows me still,
As plain as me,
As silent as me,
Knowing me as well as I know myself,
It just won't let me be.
I'm going,
Leave me here.
Move away,
Stand aside,
I'm going places you will never see,
Knowing things you will never know.
Yer right!
I stand alone,
An empty shell,
One among many,
Another number,
Another day.
A contest entry
- A contest for the masses by Danneh.
600 points, ended October 4, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
A poignant poem,the emotion is felt with all it's weight by the reader and the imagery is portrayed within the spirit of emotion so that instead of the blessing of being a brunette the locks are downgraded to the fade of grey,sometimes the sporadic usage of capitals places for me misplaced focus,not a criticism but only my perspective,did not feel at all that "yer right" added to the piece though I appreciate that the voice was trying to be assertive at that juncture.
Indeed it is easy to feel the rank and file of another number,another day, a statistic, a stereotype and to feel reduced to less than one is worth,I feel one should never feel as if more important than any other but neither,neither less than any other.We are all equal surely for we are all a mixture and a melding of oh so many things,yet I remember well the pack mentality of those at school that downgraded others if percieved by themselves as uncool,it's hard to walk the walk when one's peers talk the talk but it's worth the straightening of the spine and the walking tall in an attempt to move away from it all,even if one assumes the air of pretence in as much as waiting 'til home to cry for bullies and self appointed judges feed from reactions,no feedback confuses,perplexes and vexes them,you are not a number, there is no one like you in the entire universe for we are all individuals and as long as you are not mistreating another but trying to do and be all that are personally capable of being then you are honouring yourself and honouring other's and dishonouring nobody, and well done for the self discipline to do that.Congratulations on the honourable mention ( it's my favourite trophy for honour is everything is it not?)
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