Wait; let the trigger that drives your attempts stand still,
Look to the north like birds in the winter when hunger becomes too much to bear,
Self doubt in a bottle and thought strung on a chain,
Minds made up and this congested conscience is packed and ready to leave again,
Desperate theft of knowledge from the books on the store shelf,
Packaged stories on pages to read and to tell,
Hunt for yours, read it out to me, still absent I assume then maybe,
It’s about time we started it again.
Author notes
plz comment, i am trying a new style and need lots of creative criticism. thanx.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I really liked this. It is very original but still easy enough to understand and relate to. I really like where this poem takes me, I applaud you on trying a new style. I find that it can be nerve racking and fun at the same time, but always a good idea to see more about yourself in the process. keep it up.
all of my best wishes to you,
>>>>gaiascully<<<<
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wow this is really good
good write
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wow, this is really good, I like all of it, you really have a talent, I think its amazing, it makes me think and imagine what you are writing about, it puts pictures in my mind. I especially like
'Desperate theft of knowledge from the books on the store shelf'
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I like it, i don't like much thing but i like this you have a powerful imagination and your eyes are opened enough to see, those are two wonderful gifts don't lose them, and keep writing always
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its orsum i loved that part 2
it reely stands out -
I love this style of writing that your doing.
It really gets me thinking.
My fav. part was " Self doubt in a bottle and thought strung on a chain". I dont know why but it just stands out to me.
xo
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