evening footsteps
blur like cars who murmur
in their echoed sleep;
beyond bricked-in windows
a vagabond tomcat sneaks
and spring splits
the city’s silence;
burrowed deep
in september’s silhouette
leaf blades burst to the surface,
leaping like lightning
from concrete cracks.
ivy paws at paint-peeled walls;
she wreathes cement
with waves of green
and dances like graffiti
in the back-alley.
Author notes
man, sixty words felt like a thousand to get to today. i feel rather drained of my poetic juices.
prompt was: September Shadows
I used these delightful photos as extra inspiration:
http://angelreich.deviantart.com/art/A-Moment-Suspended-In-Time-49319626
http://gilad.deviantart.com/art/Street-Survivors-65274390
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF Saturday Quickie by kaibab.
475 points, ended September 23, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite me! ~~ One day only ~~ 500 points to Gold, will be judged tomorrow. by Naridill.
625 points, ended September 28, 2007, 145 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Capture Me With Your Title by Dark Whispers.
421 points, ended September 25, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WAS ROBBED!!!!!!!! (Invite Only) by ten thousand cicadas.
1800 points, ended April 10, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critique welcome.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wonderful imagery and the disjointment works well the reader blinks to consider the changes and meanings, and moves on... the underlying theme is renewal in gritty urban context...very well done...PK
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For some reason, this reminds me of Carl Sandburg: Fog comes on little cat feet. . . I suppose it is the excellent juxtaposition of the feline and nature. Supreme descriptions here. Exceptionally done!!
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There is a subdued feeling of sadness in this piece and good images of unnoticed decay spring to mind. It makes the reader sigh as they take it in.
Good write and congrats on bronze.
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For someones whose feels drain of their poetic jucies your writing pretty damn well, that was a great poem, thanks for entering
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I don't feel anything is missing, I think that 60 words hit the spot perfectly, this piece springs alot of juicy-ness and is full of imagery and creaitvity without dragging on. Loved it.
Much luck -
this sounds like a chase from one spot in time to another which can or can not be a good thing
Riftkin -
Such a burst of forgotten weather,
where stone in lined in glass walled canyon
in sleeves of noise to chase the season
screaming wild in air to shiver...
such an interesting take on the prompt...love it
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