Oh look what I've done, sorry about the stains.
I'm really such a klutz, I tried to dodge the viens.
That way you could see, the pain that I gave you.
Well, it's all said and done, that much is true.
I guess you lucked out, I had such a list too...
Are you crying? Now that's just plain cute.
Thinking that pitty will save you and your suit.
I'm afraid your saddly mistaken, nice try though.
But I could let you free, nah, wait I know.
Lemon juice sounds like fun, oh no where did it all go?
There it is boiling your nerves to a sering point.
Nasty, looks like you wont be using that joint.
Oh please stop screaming, you know you diserve this.
What you didn't think I'd do anything amiss?
Well that's ok, because I'm in a new state of bliss.
Are you still wailing, I thought you'd bleed to death by now.
But I'll not look a gift horse in the mouth and ask how.
I suppose that we'll move on to your inerds, that'll be good.
Hmmm, I never was good at anatomy, I'm sure you'd help if you could.
But I guess that's an impossibility, considering you're tied down as you should.
I think you're missing some things, lets all add a few.
Ahhh, I believe these shards of will do.
Yeah, lets ram them all in there, to make sure they fit;
maybe a twist of the wrist, making a new saraded pit.
I do hope you enjoyed your transpant, you mangy git.
So now I sew you up, I think you've lost enough blood.
But let me fix you up ladies man, stud.
I hope your not dead yet, so you can hear my last words.
Umong all the things of this world, it's trees, it's people, the birds.
I hate you the most "old friend," and I hope you have fun.
Because I graciously enjoyed your dripping, lucious, red lovey, twothirds.
Author notes
Acctually, this is a combination of the three song titles that I saw that mushed into one, "Broken promises for broken hearts, Glass cieling, and The fight song." Which when I was skimming turned into "The Fight Song: Broken Glass. Weird huh?
A contest entry
- Pick a Song Title! by The-Phoenix.
450 points, ended October 5, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Yes, I know it's gory, now tell me what else is relevant
Comments
-
Love the descriptiveness, and the way details creep in, instead of being thrown in at the begenning is enough to give me a momentary high. The way you change trite expression, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," to more than they would have been. Your spelling could use a bit of help, searing? sadly? Is there really anything wrong with the gore, it makes the writing so much more interesting.
-
"That way you could see, the pain that I gave you.
Well, it's all said and done, that much is true.
I guess you lucked out, I had such a list too..."
I think I know.
WOAH MAN.
That's like crazy yo.
haha.
remember,
poetry doesn't have to rhyme.
Don't be too forced.
There is 'free verse' too silly :]
You should start talking to me again.
Mmk?
~Princess of Shadows~ -
Lol.
This is odd but interesting and I liked it except I think the last line could be clarified a bit more. Good luck in the contest.
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