You hurt me
I'm broken down
My life is worthless
My smile's now a frown
There's no hope
In my life
There's no peace
Only strife
I'm not free
I'm bound with a chain
And trying to break free
Would only cause pain
My life is empty
Nothing will make me whole
My heart is broken
You crushed my soul
I'm blinded by my emotions
And I can't see ahead
Sometimes I wonder
If I'd be better off dead
I need to let go
Of everything and all
But I'm afraid to get up
For fear that I will fall
I live in pain
And in agony
I want to be free
As I fall to my knees
What can save me
Something I believe
But I feel how hard I work
I will never achieve
Author notes
Audies contest
Don't worry, I'm not depressed, I wrote this for my friend
A contest entry
- Darkness Prevails, Can Your Poem? by Audie-Is-Healed.
400 points, ended October 1, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING. by warrior-eagle.
300 points, ended September 23, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 7 Trophies or LESS. LOTS OF POINTS by God is my reality.
700 points, ended September 29, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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It's fun to ente my own contest. LOL
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I love this and at times i asked myself those questions, but i found God.this is a great poem.
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Glad I will never have to feel this pain.
Seems like it hurts like hell.
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Awesome write girly!!!
Love yah!!
~Michaela~
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"If'd I'd be better off dead" - "if'd" I have no idea what the 'd would be, but, it's not needed. I would suggest removing the 'd from "If".
The rhyming could be structured a bit, to go with pace. I would suggest syllable count, in such regard. Also, the end just started to become repetitious, I felt it could be cut down by two verses.
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this shows alot of emotion nice work i like it
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ohhhhhh i thought this was about u! but i think it's really good and shows all ur emotion!!!!!!!!! i just love the way it flows..good job holly!
B.Angel
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