Of all the tales that have been told over the ages,
I think I like ours the very best,
Not a very large tale told with many pages,
But a special tale that beats the rest,
I wasn't born perfect and I probably never will be,
But life has thrown me someone that is perfect for me.
Author notes
This was written for a dear friend and girlfriend, and I think it was the first poem I have written that doesn't show any hint of forced rhyme, tell me if I'm wrong. My username is diddashn the great for any contests that i enter whose hosts wants it
A contest entry
- Creativity and the Illusion by Ephiphany.
650 points, ended October 6, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Whole Year by Death of the Author.
600 points, ended November 13, 2007, 49 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING YOU WANT!! by Freestyle Bushido.
300 points, ended November 9, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have it in you? by Hectic Michelle.
600 points, ended December 9, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Thank you Diddashn for this poem, I really LOVED it. I do not think you need to change anything on it. I like it the way it is. I looked at all the comments if you don't mind and smiled at a few of them, will acctually all. I love you so much and talk to yeah later.
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for a short poem this was pretty decent. I think this one could of been alittle longer considering it's subject matter. Thanks for entering.
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Hmm this is good, but a little short. I know that is how it is meant to be...but I think with a bit of effort and time you could make this into a great love sonnet. It is the perfect material and the rhyme scheme is already there. In fact it seems like the end of a sonnet with the beginning part missing.
I like what you have said, it was very sweet and heartfelt. I'm just wondering whether the 4th line in the 1st stanza would sound better if it went
But our special tale nonetheless
It's up to you, it's fine how it is now and I don't want to tell you what to write.
I ADORE the last couplet - wow that is so...true. No one is perfect yet somehow they are to others...very well written. Again - would be the perfect end to a sonnet!
Thanks for your entry and good luck!
Take care x
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thanks good idea i will be thinking about that and if i get it before that contest ends i will for surely let you know, i will prolly though make it seperate and take mine out and put in the new version and send you a message but dont be expecting it 100% like lol i got to write an essay today anyway how boring
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Sounds like a plan to me
Even if it's after the contest, do let me know, I'd love to read it.
Gahh essays, they suck!
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I smiled reading this one. Title alone says so very much. All the bestest
But life has thrown me someone that is perfect for me.
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The perfect ending
you've penned this well, full of soul and strong feelings of truth. Wonderful entry and I thank you for entering my contest.
ephiphany
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*giggles at Cat's comment* Yes, little brother, this is fantastical. You did a great job with it; I think you're getting better! I don't think it really needs to be longer. It says what it needs to say simply, but effectively. Good one! Keep it up, little brother. Blessed be!
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I wasn't born perfect and I probably never will be,
But life has thrown me someone that is perfect for me
wonderful line here, keep it flowing i like this poem -
This is very sweet, I like the last line -But life has thrown me someone that is perfect for me.- This is a great last line, it makes me think of my boyfriend and how we click so weel. This is a very good poem.
~K~ -
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Thank you i was thinking of a different ending to make it a little bit longer and like end with the essance of love but this may take a couple years lol
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Aww...
She certainly is lucky to have a guy like you. Especially a guy who writes her poems!
(Yay!! You finally wrote another poem!! Is your writer's block gone? Now, go write another one!!)
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