Sparkle, sparkle, shiny star
How I wonder just how far
So out of reach and such a hassle
How I love each little tassel
How to get closer to this dancer,
A lot more cash, that's the answer.
Author notes
My take on "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
A contest entry
- Adultery rhymes by cricketjeff.
525 points, ended October 5, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Put a smile on my face..love the title. Congrtats on the the shiny gold cup!!
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great!
it was funny and ironic at the same time ... good jod!
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LOL a cute little poem with a witty ending.
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your wild side is showing
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Congratulations Eric, a well deserved gold.
Sue
xx
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Short and to the point
Only quibble is hassle as a rhyme for tassels
"How I love each little tassel "
Maybe?
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Great suggestion, it certainly works better! Thanks for the comment, and for the trophy!
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Without the forced rhyme it is indisputably the winner! Thanks for entering it.
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very cute and I like the light humor. You have a great talent. I hope you will be writing more in the future
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Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Like a toilet in the sky
Leaking down into my eye.
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Interesting. Strange, but interesting nonetheless.
Good luck with this. Enjoyed it. -
this was different and a great twist
your mind is amazing
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just when I thought "Ah, another children's poem" BOOM there it is. good job. nice rhyme. not fond of the two "how"s in second line but it is still good.
Best wishes in contest (and with the dancer)lol -
LoL! Good one!
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hehehe.. this is truly amusing! I love your writing! At the beginning I was thinking "hmm..." and then the end bit came and I laughed and everything. ^-^ keep writing! you know you have my comment!
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I like this very much, a simple rhyme, bought up to date with an exotic dancer!!!!
All the best in the contest...Sue x
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