We did take diverging paths
through woods that darkened ;
sometimes when I scowled
I felt your smile.
It seemed that I was alone
but you shadowed me
without menace,
whispering guidance.
Always your icy breath
cooled my ardour and passion ;
my gaze was on the stars,
yours was on the rain.
When the wild wind called
you sealed my path,
forcing me back,
reining my rush.
Our paths have merged
and you knew
that they must.
Presaged every thought.
Now the stars and rain
blend in rainbow hue
and through your icy touch
my vision is unclouded truth.
We walk side by side,
divided opinions
but in harmony :
the rain and stars.
Author notes
pic credit:By magic hour on Flickr
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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beautiful!
well done! i loved it
Always your icy breath
cooled my ardour and passion ;
my gaze was on the stars,
yours was on the rain.
this line touched me....
juliet
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wow!
I really like it...
how you used a lot of describing words...
I wish I could use them like other people can....
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Hi camus
It is a long time I haven't read you. I enjoy taking a break from everyday chores and work and dedicate some time to poetry, to feelings and personal thoughts.
Allow me to give you a few suggestions.
How about starting the poem simply with ...
we took ...
I think I would change must to had to (S5).
The last stanza is beautiful but in my humble opinion I think you could leave it out. The preceding stanza would make for a powerful ending.
Thanks for the read and hope you are well.
Maria -
another amazing piece, your just a brillant writer, aren't you?
I could never be this good, lol. It was so beautiful, and just the wording, and flow was terrific.
I love the way you blended things in your poem, such as sun and moon, stars and rain, and so on.
nice title to go with the poem, and excellent job!
stephanie
xxx
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Lovely writing, throughout...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
I came to visit for your birthday and find amazingly splendid poetry here in your site. 
You have many friends, I see, and I can see why you have a fan club. 
Would you allow me to post one of your poems on the poetry blog I run for a newspaper in California, USA? It is called Poetry Planet and The Reporter newspaper runs it. Your name would be on the poem, plus your copyright, of course.
Melodies
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Very deep and moving. A journey of two souls on different paths to finally find what was needed in both. The differences between them finding a way to learn from each other and walk together as equls not no to over shadow the other.
Well done.
:
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pretty good
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Very nice. Again, contrasting images seems to be one of your many specialties. I was thinking about this in concrete terms of male and female in that the male is often the more passionate one and his female will usually be the more down to earth (looking at rain) figure, being the steady home with which the male may always find familiar and comfortable.
Excellent poem. I love your nature related poems...beautiful words
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A fine, well thought out poem.
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wowwwwwwwwwwww that's really great,romantic,simple,sweet,it's start reminds me of a line in Frost's poem:the road not taken,two roads in the woods,your poem is really perfect in short
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I feel a lot of movement within this poem, and pictures a wonderful scene. J
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Liked the metaphors you have used in these lines - the flow and the imagery that is found here. Easy to read and understand what you are saying - reflection indeed.
. Rewarded 4
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