Unforgivable

Cold hearted am I to do such treachery,
I must pay in some way for what I have done,
the guilt, the shame, the pain I've caused.

Too much for me to bare, no wonder you left,
the pain you must feel, the defilement of your trust,
I can only plead, but to no avail.

I still love you but what's there for you to believe.
You ask yourself, "Is she being true", "Is she worth my while"?
Look into my heart and you will see it cry.

I am unable to live with the thought of hurting you like this,
so I try the only painful thing I know, Cutting, slicing, making me bleed.
This pain is nothing like you feel now.

Ensuing thoughts of what would make you feel better,
not seeing my face, not remembering the deed.
You say you still love me, but how is this true?

You don't talk to me nor do you wish to see me,
Life as I knew it has ended so fast, with a
neglectful punch of a keystroke, I have broken your heart.

Crying will not work now, nor will the blade of a razor,
I'll wait till the wee hours when all are asleep,
then take your pain away with not just a waiver but one good leap.