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Brown Rooms Whisper Secrets

 

In this room, the walls whisper secrets
that no-one should have to tell,
sights and sounds of yesteryear
fall in the darkness,
like flakes of rotting paint.

Close your eyes tight,
can you not hear her screams?
The pleas of a despairing soul,
forever being beaten down
by the eternal hatred of another.

Open your eyes now,
adjust to the gloom,
can you not see clearly
the ominous stains
that the peeling wallpaper reveals?

Be at piece for a moment,
let the stillness flow through.
Underneath the happiness,
can your soul not sense
one hundred years of despair crying softly?

Thousands of lost voices
imprinted for all eternity,
murmur just below coherence,
from walls not intended for
the burden of the tortured loneliness.

Imprints of sorrow
on a morbid frequency,
in dull, brown rooms,
carrying the weight of the dead,
that the living long vacated.

 

 

Author notes

Picture Prompt: http://allpoetry.com/images/ext/Contest/2370/174.jpg?1190411145

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    October 31, 2007

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    Thanks for your entry

    I can tell I am going to be using these words a lot in judging this contest, this was creepy and spooky. Places can hold the echo of the once living who have passed on, especially when those echos are violent. Nice flow and structure. Good imagery.

    Happy Halloween!
    Tammy


    • Glasyalabolas
      November 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I don't often focus on some of the darker aspects and ideas in writing (at least, not in this sense), so it was fun to try and do something that I hadn't done in years.


  • PhoenixsFlight
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow an awsome write here and a true deserver of the H.Cup.
    Well done. I like it much, it flows so well.
    Spooky stuff..
    Px


  • Silly Rabbit.
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Wonderful. A frightful tale of not fictional characters and events but of the truthful ones of today. Very well done. Keep up the good work, congrats on your win, and good luck in the contest.

    • Glasyalabolas
      October 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I am content with the way this piece turned out, it turned out exactly as I wanted it to (which doesn't always happen)


  • LadyDementia gold member
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Cool!

    Wow, creepy indeed! I loved it, you have really got a spook factor of 10 going on here!

    Open your eyes now
    Adjust to the gloom
    Can you not see clearly
    The ominous stains
    That the peeling wallpaper reveals?

    I just love this verse! Best of luck in the contest!

    • Glasyalabolas
      October 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Creepy and dark was exactly what I was trying to achieve with this piece, without being openly overt.


  • Knight70 silver member
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome imagery!

    Imprints of sorrow
    On a morbid frequency
    In dull, brown rooms
    Carrying the weight of the dead
    That the living long vacated

    I'm a HUGE fan of spooky poems. I haven't written many of them, but I really like the ones I have written. I will have to send you one I really like.


    • Glasyalabolas
      October 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I think this is the first spooky piece I have ever attempted on here, in the true sense of the word anyways. Was fun to write and good to get into the mindset for it.


  • Frozentearz
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have most certinly caputred the feel of such a place with your words giving it some rich imagery
    Thanks for sharing,
    Warm hauntings,
    Frozentearz


    • Glasyalabolas
      September 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I really was hoping for it to come off as ghostly as possible.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this one gives me the chills. It's very spooky indeed, nonetheless VERY well done. I like your choice of words, and imagery you portray especially within these lines "Fall in the darkness
    Like flakes of rotting paint" & "The ominous stains
    That the peeling wallpaper reveals?" I can picture this all in my head, and I can see, feel, and hear the emotions you bring forth in this poem. But being surrounded by these brown rooms and hearing voices that one would not normally hear, is a place I would not want to be on Halloween, or anytime! Good write

    • Glasyalabolas
      September 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. There is always some strange aura around old places, old buildings, especially publically used ones like hotels or guesthouses.

  • ecrivain01
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting write ...

    although not quite my thing. I'm not really into horror per se, and this reminds me of horror more than anything else. Then again, that's what Halloween is all about.

    Anyway, this certainly kept my attention throughout and that's what poetry is supposed to do, n'est-ce pas?

    • Glasyalabolas
      September 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. Horror, or a ghost story at the very least is definately a part of this piece for the reader to take that from it, as it was written as a Halloween/picture prompt, though I did try to not only give it a sense of that, but also of history, lonliness and memory. (though it is far more hidden and obscure, probably far too obscure lol)


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    September 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the idea of lost souls trapped within the walls, and this is how the Argyll Hotel made me feel ...I pondered and thought about all the people who had once passed through her doors. I think you have done a brilliant job with the picture...very well worded and had the power to hold my attention from start to finish. Thank you for your wonderful entry and good luck in my contest.

    Shaz xx

    • Glasyalabolas
      September 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I liked the idea of playing with the premise that there were ghosts, just on the edge of earshot and vision.

1 - 17 of 17