I fear to slip in the dreamscapes of night
of a nightmare of a dying heart
the enchanting beauty of a kiss so light
her kiss will be the start
Her eyes were soulless, deep pools that love never touched
her touch was coldness, slight hands that knew too much
her smile played a rueful guise of a heart misused
now shes left with an addiction to be abused
Jezebel, I need her
my one and only Jezebel
the one true love
of her i could never get enough
Jezebel, i need you!
Her kiss was wet with tenderness
wanting with eager lust
her eyes held a treacherousness
the one thing i knew not to do
was to give her my trust
Now she is gone, to where i cannot say
she left a heart filled with bitter lust
that heart beats in my chest to this day
giving life to a body filled with disgust
for she with another lay
Jezebel, I need her
my one and only Jezebel
the one true love
of her i could never get enough
Jezebel, i need you!
In nights of perversion of unholy sex
in full view of god to watch
her bewitchments to my soul she latched
as my control over my heart she botched
Jezebel!
To my increase of oral cadence
of her my tongue unleashed orgasmic floods
to celestial gates, to enter paradise
wet with newborn blood
Jezebel!
with each release i leave part of me
more of soul then of ejaculate
for devourment of a soul is her release
never was i to be the cause to impregnate
for this my heart a dirge yells still
Jezebel, I need her
my one and only Jezebel
the one true love
of her i could never get enough
Jezebel, i need you!
soon the day will come when my eyes behold
the beauty who held me in rapture
the bitch who stole my soul
and on this day a piece of me will die again
rending a heart, to open old scars
as my body sinks deeper in lament
for Venus will always conquer Mars
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me your best shot! by Dancing Rebel.
525 points, ended September 23, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [tighten the handcuffs]&{ z o o m } by PaiigeBARBIE.
460 points, ended November 18, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyrics by BittersweetPhantasm.
650 points, ended April 19, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scream Me Poetry & Kiss Me N Hell by Poetic Obscenity.
550 points, ended April 28, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[[Give Me A Broken Rhyme ]]] by hopelessly-broken.
550 points, ended May 20, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .-~*~-. Mythology .-~*~-. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
500 points, ended September 1, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyrics Contest- your own music!!! by couldbeworse.
550 points, ended January 19, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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erotic in a way...yearning, powerful...
fav part:
Her kiss was wet with tenderness
wanting with eager lust
her eyes held a treacherousness
the one thing i knew not to do
was to give her my trust
thanks for entering!
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Very nicely done, my best wishes.
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I like how this 'succubus' of sorts, pulls you down and yet, you wish not to fight. It's how some entity's or persons can seem to control you just with a touch, or a glance. Indeed, Venus is far stronger than Mars.
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Wickedly good.
And where oh where is John the Baptist?
On a silver platter,
Not that it mattered,
Another lover?
or was his No!
A death warrant.
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Whoa!
It really sounds like you've discovered a living, breathing Succubus! Oy! Why are the crazy ones the most interesting in the bedroom? This had a strange rhyme scheme that I enjoyed thoroughly. Incredibly powerful imagery in this one, well done. My favorite line:
"her touch was coldness, slight hands that knew too much"
creepy image... real creepy. Keep your pen to the page!
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Interesting choice of a title, the name which brings up thoughts of the proud, scheming beauty who reigns supreme until her ignoble end. Here she is both loved and hated in the same breast with hopeless yearning. Very dark indeed and frightening in it's intensity.
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This is a superb write! I have to be honest though, it gave me a slightly uneasy feeling, like a kind of nightmare that hovers on the edge...but I really love the flow of this, and even the images it inspires are incredibly dark, wicked, some kind of beautiful.
For me, the absolutely most brilliantly written part of the poem/song was this:
"Her eyes were soulless, deep pools that love never touched
her touch was coldness, slight hands that knew too much
her smile played a rueful guise of a heart misused
now shes left with an addiction to be abused"
In my opinion I found the last line just a touch cliche, but didn't detract from the poem/song, so it's all good!
Thanks for sharing this,
Luck. -
Damn
That is simply amazing. Though there are some rouch patches in where it was reaching for something i'm not quite sure..
In the end, it was all very much worth it.
The flow was amazing and i truly enjoyed this.
Technically, it's not exactly what the contest asks for. I absolutley adore it, therefore, I'll leave it in and i've got to say. It's the best so far.
Great write.
"as my body sinks deeper in lament
for Venus will always conquer Mars" - My favorite part.
Good Luck in the contest.
~IvoRy -
this is good thanks for entering good luck in the contest.
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this is an awesome write. it's exactly the kind of thing i was looking for.
the flow of the words are wonderful and so is the imagery.
thank you and good luck -
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Thank you. I wrote it as a song. So it really did make sense to put it in your contest. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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this is really good!
amazing imagery.
i loved it
thank you bby!
♥ -
excellent
wonderfully written.
excellent flow and rhyme. Truly an amazing write.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Winners shall be chosen shortly
Zoe xxx
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