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One hella poopy poem

I touched it in the middle of the night
Though it was dark, it was quite bright
The sun set on his smile
I begged him to stay for just a while
He laughed and pushed me away
But he promised he would stay
And he did stay
For 7 more days
Until the light touched the moon.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Sonja
    September 22, 2007

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    A kind of poem using a lot of opposite pictures, with good trials to keep readers attention with eccentric title. As a magazine editor I read uncountable numbers of poems and here I found somebody who has much more poetical abilities that was shown here. More authors are trying to write more lines than their poetry needs. Here something is still missing, maybe a line or two, like author was afraid to tell us too much. Poem is much better that title and somehow I like it.
    ~Sonja~


    • Vars
      September 30, 2007
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      this is one of my most crappy poems, thats why its a hella poopy poem. lol. i dont really like it, but it is what it is.
      lol.


  • SilverMoonFeathers
    September 21, 2007

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    wow this poem si tottally awesome and i agree with delightfulness title does not fit the poem you must be more enthusiasitic about ur poem (im not ordering you

    • Vars
      September 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      psh, i give you permission to order me! lmfao.


  • delightfulmess silver member
    September 21, 2007

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    Awe... I liked this a lot Title does not fit the poem I must say good luck in the contest




    delila

1 - 5 of 5