When the lights go down;
when you've lost all reason
and you feel like giving in,
just remember it does take time
to heal the wounds that cut so deep
We both tried
but all I could see was goodbye
there in those eyes that once held the secrets
hidden deep within the heart of me...
I know we've both been unkind;
there's no explanation...
Who would have known it was the last time?
The last ~I love you~;
holding onto a star
When the lights go down
and you find no reason,
think of a smile
still in your vision;
a smile meant only for you
I'll never know what went wrong
and I can't make you feel what you felt before;
I can't give you back what I have taken
Nor can I ever get back to where I was
before our destination
One day, I know, when wishing on a star
we will feel the regret of loss
for our souls touched and danced in time
in this evil world where love is rare
Still, I hear you calling
from far away;
You tear through my soul with the last ~I love you~
Past dreams haunted our vision;
blinding what is true...
honesty destroyed what lived in two souls
destined for each other
we fell...
into the last goodbye
When the lights go down
and you're searching for a reason,
just remember me;
listen closely for my cry
feel my breath upon your skin
as I sigh...
and whisper my last goodbye
Author notes
Option 3
A contest entry
- Three options, give me your best by Brucie.
415 points, ended October 10, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Amazing
This really spoke to me, it sums up exactly what I'm feeling and I'm in tears right now. This was beautiful, thankyou for your entry.
Laura
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SUCH SORROW AND SADNESS!!!
Goodbye is never easy and when we must say goodbye to the one who owns our heart the hurt is deep and lasting. It seems we always do our best to hold on to hope that all is not lost.
-
This is beautifully sad. I have not read you in tooooo long. I am loving your new author pic by the way
Hope all is well..
this poem was incredible!!
Always,
Mel
-
Very Good
I know we've both been unkind;
there's no explanation...
Who would have known it was the last time?
The last ~I love you~;
holding onto a star
I felt your pain
like love sliped away
now... lost to you
Wonderfull sad expression, of you loss
Rick
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Powerful, beautiful write. The emotion was very strong in this piece. I liked how you repeated the line of the lights going down. It gave the poem a feeling of sadness and it made me think of a person who will soon pass on, telling a loved one to not be sad, but to remember them for who they were in life. Good luck in the contest.
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This is such a beautifully penned piece filled with really deep emotions and written from the heart....great job here...smiles, Terry
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I can feel every word that you have written. Even though decisions must be made for whatever reason, our hearts still cling to what they knew, even with the pain. But you know that in time the wounds do heal, not the memories though..All you can do is know that your heart is capable of love and will love again. Stay well, my friend and be good to yourself.
Soulful Woman
Noreen
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Wonderful
Lots of heart felt thoughts come forth from your stanzas. Repetition of two lines: When the lights go down
and you're searching for a reason,
has the haunting quality, which I'm sure is to emphasize the feelings. Over all it is well written. The flow is a bit suggishly perhaps because of the choppy lines. Not always a bad thing. It is hard to do othewise when emotions run so deep, but I think that does come through to the reader because of the contest. A sad and poignant poem, full of truly powerful sentiments. Heart's honestly flows and certainly counterbalances any small hiccups in smooth quality.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Wow
This is amazing sis.
I so love your heart of tenderness! I wish you all the best in life and love, and this should do well in the contest.. For you pen from the heart so very powerfully. Much love and respect!
-Timothy
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L34 "that lived"
Sandy, this is truly a heart-felt and honest piece, so very beautiful in all of its sadness. It's good to see you back doing what you do so well...touching hearts with your own. The emotions in this are real and raw and your words show the reader and allow them to place themselves there to truly feel each word of this. Thank you for bringing your beautiful heart and soul back to us here, we've truly missed you. Love you always, my friend. Laura x
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