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promises of water & flame

 


she is a crater -
      a canyon
      of dusty airless
      depth;

[ past encounters
  blended

  with her soil ]


waiting for water
warm lips
to tangle
with smile;

she spies a comet -
bright in
lonely orbit,
sliding warmth
closer,
          [ spiralling into every sense ]

a promise of impact,
flesh-to-flesh

& a life
   granted reason
   by losing all
   in that noisy

   sweet collision 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: "Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love."

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Starswhispers silver member
    September 23, 2007
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    Beautifully done and the end is awsom. Congratulations!


  • Namita silver member
    September 22, 2007

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    Awesome. I personally love the quote, and I love what you've done with it. Great job, Kate. Amazing work.

    Candy


  • Akimbo silver member
    September 22, 2007

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    I just love this

    I read this three times without a moment's hesitation. It's wonderful... the second [hyphenated] verse just slays me... this one:

    [ past encounters
    blended
    with her soil ]

    That stops me cold.

    Colon, right parenthesis, Kj

  • KateJones144
    September 21, 2007
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    I just love the line "warm lips to tangle". Beautiful descriptions.

  • Nicolette gold member
    September 21, 2007

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    This is a wonderful poem and I love the title, the metaphor of comets, of water and flame..the gentleness of water, the fires of love. Excellent work, Kate.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Peteskid gold member
    September 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A most useful metaphor to the canyon, and she has a sense of wanting, so very nice, the suspense builds along with the passion. In free verse, very creative and imaginative, well written and expressive. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    September 21, 2007

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    This type of poetry makes people fall in love with words. You describe her in such a gentle way..
    She is unavoidable.

1 - 8 of 8