Just laugh, my son, when skies are low and gray,
and smile as well when sun is warm and bright;
though loss or failure make you sad by day,
forbid that mood to come to bed at night.
Your dreams must flutter free of them. Be light
and cheerful as you count the day's events,
for everything will change with longer sight,
and what you think affects your fortune hence.
They're all illusion, every wall and fence,
which limit what you choose; and wisdom sees
that truth is not perceived by commonsense:
the "forest is concealed by all the trees."
Your attitude to life is more than half -
if troubles start to win, my son, just laugh.
In a list
A contest entry
- Write me one essential poem to fall in love with. by Lyndon.
800 points, ended October 6, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Villanelles, sonnets and pantoums only by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Excellently done my friend. Love this sonnet to the end. I can see why this won gold. If words were colors I'd say these were bold. LOL Corny but whatever. Write on, sister. One.
Dez
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Thank you Dez, I appreciate your comment and applause. If only I could take my own advice!
PS congratulations on your silver, very well done!
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A very worthy winner of Gold. Well done Margaret. This is a lovely Sonnet
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Thank you Pat - well done you, too!
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This is good ...
although the final line is a bit weak. Still and all, you've done a very credible job with this.
Thanks for entering my contest.
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Hi, weird gremlins are in the works, I commented on this wonderful poem but cannot find my comment,lol, super sonnet Margaret, loved it, hugs Di
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There must be gremlins. lol. Thanks Di, always a pleasure when you visit.
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Oh, I cannot give you a boot when you have tackled a sonnet no matter what you did- they set you at such a disadvantage! Let's see what you've courageously squeezed out of this limiting form... a 'cheer-up' piece, and there is wisdom in the 'longer sight'- too bad suicide victims fail to realize that their views/moods may be as much as 180 degrees opposite in eight hours, doesn't take a Hindu to realize that! A strong and valiant effort here considering the form you're wrestling with, and I see you've placed the message before the glitz and glitter that, let's face it, you'll have to add if you want to be 'popular'! (and I confess, I love glitz and glitter as much as anyone, but not to the point of starving my heart and mind!) Two clappies, one for tackling a sonnet and one for depth; now all you need is the tongue-fest glitter to please those who have only dared to skim the surface of the heart and mind...
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Thank you Wayne, you have read deeply and considered, and given me your true opinion. I'm afraid you're right, this sonnet does wrestle back a little, due to its own character. Try as I might, my best poems are like this, light on poetry. Tell me if popularity is worth what I would have to give for it.
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I simply like the opening line best, to me it resonates like, " Call me Ishmael"
This has imagery that leads me to want to bookmark this to come back and read again. Very nice!
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Thank you Tirrell, you are very kind.
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Hello, Margaret.
Judgment time!
"The survival of humanity exists in knowing the simple secret that guides the motion in the smallest individuated part and the whole. This secret is bound to be revealed to humanity, not by his effort, but by the Grace of the Divine and as the mark of His Love, which is the essence that binds the whole into one and manifest as creation and perpetuation..." is part of the philosophic thought that I am using to understand more fully your straightforward sonnet.Your rhyme was disciplined but to "e". You are skilled in sonnet construction. We all know this of you.
The first quatrain is of daily weather and human mood used to metaphorically mirror each other.
The next stanza makes a break with the maternal injunction to begin it:
"Your dreams must flutter free of them". One imagines a breeze of personal freedom and the ability to see 'forever', almost.
The third stanza is layered wisdom about wisdom! The imagery of wall and fence keeps you to a bit of concrete imagery and certainly to the definables in one's life's ambitions.
The rhymed couplet is Mayan, especially in the "motes" of the whole; the unity; the Divine; the One.
Detractions: not many. If I try hard, I could say the forest and the trees symbolic image is not overtly fresh.
And yes, you did write a poem essentially to my liking. :)
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Ahh Yesssss!
A Keeper! I have read it three times now and each time anew, as more comes into view. Sons who benefit from such a sonnet will have a personal resource few others share, although it would be a far better world if they did! There is no violence in such a world, no animosity.
It reads as naturally as Thought itself, with inner unobtrusive logic born of experience and life.
Beauty is its natural form, unforced, appreciated for what it is. A poem to be widely shared!
Thank you for this.
Terry
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I have read widely, and there are many good things in different traditions. This view is digested in a song you know, "merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream." Thank you for your lovely comment and applause Terry, I am lucky to have such readers as you.
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A Wondrous Sonnet ...
tranquil, serene, uplifting, smooth -- in the wise style I usually see in your repertoire.
I am always amazed to see with what poets come up when rhyming light and sight, trees and sees. And YOUR phrasings are so fresh, so unforced. Well done, Poetess.
I loved this. It is perfect in form and in execution, and in depth of content. A timeless poem of spiritual awareness: of placing the soul within the Nurture of Core; of giving sense to sorrow in a commensense way (forgive me, I could not resist!)
Love to you, Precious One of Favorites.
Myra
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thank you Myra - I have used the other sense of light this time! Thank you for your kind appreciation of my sonnet.
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Awww! What a beautiful thought to give your sons! The wisdom seems as pertinent now as in ancient times. We can choose our attitude most of the time, except when fear is an obstacle.
I, too, thought the current of this poem was very smooth, soothing in the reading. You are so good at sonnets! (Wisdom, too) ~ Karen
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Thank you, dear Karen.
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En-Joy....
...What Is, as It Is (We Are)...
Smooth as silk, light (Light) yet so deep...
Let all the gates in all the fences be opened wide and let laughter reign..,
Be ever bright and blessed
Rahad
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Thank you Rahad - that is it. Laughter makes life much more enjoyable. Many blessings to you!
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I'm no mote...I'm a huge chunk of significance!
I think Lyndon will fall in love with this...not that I should speak for Lyndon since I think we're a tad bit different.
I certainly was smitten by how your sonnet just melted off my mind's tongue. As you know, I understand sonnets like I understand the origins of the universe, but I do know what sounds clunky and most sonnets on AP (that I've read) sound that way. Please don't make me define "clunky."
My alternate title: "Grin and Bear It."
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Thank you very much. I hope you are right. I think "clunky" may be the contortion of language that some rhymers get into. I'm glad this doesn't do that to you.
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