Heaviness,
dissolving dignity;
How I long to become
clean...
free
Author notes
Guilt
In a list
A contest entry
- WORD ECONOMY CHALLENGE! Ten-Word Poems... by TooRainbow.
675 points, ended September 23, 2007, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Gratz on the gold! Awesome write!
-
Good
Congradulations on winning the gold -
This is a splendid write filled
with wonderful wording and flow.
Ten beautiful words you have written
Congradulations on the gold
Tony
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Brilliant work!
This poem really describes what guilt feels like for me! "Heaviness,": the burden! "dissolving / dignity": the spirit begins to separate just like this phrase as it is split over two separate lines of the page. "How I long / to become / clean...": again a single thought separated into three as if to say 'I need, I'm overwhelmed', 'I'm overwhelmed, what do I do?', and 'what do I hope my action will achieve?' Also, when the phrase is spoken in three breaths, it lends dramatic effect to the emotion. The poem takes the reader on a journey from the darkness of secret wrongs into the light of honesty. You end with "free": the answer, the ultimate end of this detour--back on track in life. It's laid out like a map, very fitting for the subject matter. Very well done! Thank you for this entry!
Sheryl
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