Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

"Just Believe"

          These chains that bind are
              all in my mind.
          I'm trying to break free
            please just believe!
           

          These thoughts going on
            are just all wrong.
          I'm trying to break free
            please just believe!


            These emotions that are inside
              is something I must hide.
            I'm trying to break free
              please just believe!


                The fear I feel
                is all to real.
            I'm trying to break free
              please just believe!
     

Author notes

I know it sucks but hey give me a break I am a little screwed up in the head right now.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • marcusmoore
    July 25

    Edit | Reply
    hey, this poem doesn't suck at all, actually to be honest with you I'm very impressed. it's very concise but it portrays everything it needs to in the opening line and at the end of every paragraph, You just want somebody to believe you and listen without looking at you with confused eyes. I too know the feeling of being a prisoner of your own mind if ya catch my drift. I have an addiction poem as well on sharepoetry.com called "Page Forty-Eight" . This is a very relatable piece, ya just have to find the right audience, and your audience with this poem is addicts, people in pain and a constant battle with themselves and with what they want...and you can feel the desperation in this poem with ending each stanza with "please just believe!" Very nicely done and Overall I thought that it was great. Another funny thing is one of my very good friends from SP, gingerhall, had already commented on the poem and I never realized before that she had read this one. And she's also a very good artist/poet so you should feel good that she felt inspired by this piece and feel good that you're not the only one out there. I wish ya the best in the future and hope that nothing tragic happens, just remember there ARE people who love and understand you, ya just gotta find them. that's one of the great journeys in life, even though I was talking about suicide and wanting to die like 4-5 days ago LoL. That's life though, ups and downs, super highs and evil lows. Ya just gotta find the balance that's right for YOU. the best of luck my friend. I hope that you'll stop by SP to check out some of my work possibly, if not some at least please read "Page Forty-Eight" and let me know what ya think. Thanks for sharing and I hope to hear from ya sometime soon. Keep up the good work cause this is damn good

    TTYL
    MM


  • littlemissrose
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really liked this poem, i find that the word 'believe' is a very strong word, especially when used in poetry.


  • lianonsidhe silver member
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hi
    I love the fluttery feel to this poem, as if the writers stomach is full of butterflies. It's evocativ of that panicky, nervous swirling feeling when we fear something but can't show it outwardly. Then the plea to self, 'please just believe!', as if there is some deeper knowledge that this time of panic will pass. Wonderfully wordcrafted! Thank you for sharing.


  • gingerhall1976
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    What are you kidding me?

    This poem is inspirational! if to no one else, to me. Its obvious it is to others as well. I can feel what your feeling and maybe because we share some of the same feelings, but nevertheless, this is a beautiful piece with not only darkness but some light too...the message to please just believe is so powerful to me because sometimes that is all we have, isn't it. I love it!


  • Shuberth
    December 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This Poem Does not Sucks!
    Its Good!


  • Hidden Fortress
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ... Yeah, same here...

    My best friend just started going out with my EX and So, I know how you feel and I will be writing about it soon... I love this poem though... awesome job... My childhood was and still is really fucked up... I'm sorry your messed up... It sucks... I know...

    I'm always here if you need a hand...
    Kyote

1 - 6 of 6