Their eyes glare at me
Questioning my existence
In a land once mine
Conflict is reality
Of me standing here
Skin the hue of enemy
That I fail to see
The horror which we produce
A land rich with history
1992 -1993 Mogadishu Somalia
SSG Carr
Author notes
Chōka consists of 5-7 syllable phrases repeated at least twice, and concludes with a 5-7-7 ending.
The briefest chōka documented was made by Yamanoue no Okura in the Nara period, and goes:
which consists of a pattern 5-7 5-7 5-7 5-7-7:
In a list
A contest entry
- Look At This Picture and write by WhisperingSpirit.
500 points, ended September 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is sad and speaks of conflict
I looked up information to understand this a little
need to know more.
~sugar~
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I was there and I have some dark bad memories that I still feel bad about to this day. But It comes up every now and then. Thanks 4 you comments sugar ~ Luv ya.
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I was not familiar with this form until
I read this piece.. the form is quite effective, and the piece quite poignant... definitely thought provoking... inviting the reader into a world and experience and a perspective that most will never know for themselves...
very stark reality conveyed in the piece with such openness...
wonderful composition!
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Thank you. This is a seldom used form because of the popularity of Haiku and Senryu, that this takes a back seat. Again real life memories and where most my dark poems came from ~ thanks so much for your great words. They are appreciated. ~ MyKeeee
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The poet introduces the reader to a new form.The poem stands alone without the visual aid of the picture,yet the picture compliments the words.The presentation is fine with the poet choosing a complimentry coloured background.Am a tad unsure about the capitalization of each line when each line is not necessarily the beginning of a new sentence,at first it led me to believe it may be an acrostic because of this.The title is clear and concise.Both imagery and emotion have clarity.This must have been a cathartic write for the poet to pen,well done indeed.
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thanks - real life memories
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beautiful I loved this poem
thank youfor entering
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