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wishes

tired of this shit
tired of this hurt
tired of this strain

i wish you could endure
this kind of pain.

sick of always hurting
sick of being used
sick of being taken advantage of

i wish you could see
what your doing to me.

wishing i could be loved
wishing i didnt have to feel this way
wishing you would understand

but knowing
nothing will ever change.

Author notes

just something new...im trying out different kinds of poetry
inthe"anything" contest I also have Agony in there

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Mango Memories
    July 22, 2009

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    Wow the repition really works on this poem!

    I could feel your emotions just swell out and grip me!

    thats what i love to see in poetry, Raw and Naked emotion!


    Well done on a fab write and thankyou for entering this contest!


  • Beating gold member
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. It shows anger and frustration and I could really feel it. You could edit it and put in more description of what actually happened, but that's just my opinion. Other than that, good job!

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The lyrics are angsty but not to the extent that the reader is overwhelmed but allowed to understand.The repetition is used effectively.The usage of the word sh*t is one that I am not really comfortable with and yet I have heard both Pink and Amy Winehouse sing the word and make it work as part and parcel of the song and masterfully so.
    Well done.


  • torieshawesum
    October 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is kick ass... i liked it, but i think there sould be mre anger in it for my contest.


  • TheLostGirl
    October 18, 2007

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    wow this really straight to the point it's like your talking to me and its crazy cause I have felt those things and its just rediculous how others can affect you so much great poem thanks for entering can you put what family member you want to be in the authors box


  • DarkestAngel68
    October 10, 2007

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    excellent

    I just got out of this same exact feeling. This expresses this feeling very well. Excellently worded. Great job.


  • Dancing Rebel
    September 21, 2007

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    Excellent

    A wonderful write. Well done, beautifully penned.
    Thank you so much for entering my contest
    wishing you the best of luck
    Zoe xxx


  • Brazos silver member
    September 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very good, baby

    I liked the way you used repetivive lines to get your message across. It is a poetic device that is often underused [some people just don't know how to do it], but you did most excellent with this one.

    How is your life? Please let me know, I am your loving father, and I need to know how you are doing. By the way, you have a sister, her pen name is Snow White Queen.

    I love you,
    Dad

1 - 8 of 8