Tonight I'll say your name
Just to have you here.
Tonight I'll whisper words
To keep away my fears.
Tonight I'll call you up
Just to say good night.
Tonight I'll say I Love You
To end the day just right.
Tonight I'll close my eyes
And see your handsome face.
Tonight I'll think of you,
My heart will fill with grace.
Tonight I'll hug that dog
Just to hold a part of you.
Tonight I'll set a smile,
Await the day anew.
Tonight I'll whisper Love
And hope it'll reach your room.
Tonight I'll kiss the air
Knowing you sent one, too.
Tonight I'll fall asleep
Dreaming of your love.
Tonight I'll send my heart to you,
My hero from up above.
In a list
A contest entry
- One by Nam.
425 points, ended October 6, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This is your contest not mine, no restriction what so ever. by nerd42189.
550 points, ended October 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The fourth verse seems unneeded. It doesn't seem to hold a place in the piece, and the rhyming is a tad weak, as well.
The last line "up above" is redundant. "up" really isn't needed since "above" insinuates that one has to look "up".
I feel this should be left-aligned, and it could use a syllable count to help in the pace and form, but, nice just the same.
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This is beautiful. I loved it. It reminded me of my boyfriend and how much i love him. It made me feel warm and relaxed. Its not to long but and gets your feelings across well. Great write and lovely flow. I enjoyed reading it.
-Mrs.Classix
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i lov this !! it's good
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