The stars littered the sky like cars on a highway, and we danced back and forth beneath them to the romantic soundtrack of crickets and my caving car hood. She changes her mind like the Oklahoma wind. Yes, no, north, south, take me, leave me, have me, drop me, but in the end she's always mine. At least that's what she says.
But there's this feeling I can't shake, like the few extra pounds at my waist. That ways me down constantly as I wonder "is she true to me?" Or in the throes of passion is she passin' thoughts of impure fashion? Does she wish that I was better? I know I do. I wonder everyday how I was so lucky to fall into her fingers, to feel myself between them. To have them pull away from me, and feel as though they take my own flesh with them. My lips feel wetted by her saliva, long after our tongues stop their tantalizing tango. I shouldn't feel this way, I'm the one looking down to her, after all, no one else.
We walked in the park like it was ground-zero, like this was it. The end of the world. We kissed like "Shakespeare in Love," because she will never grow old to me, she will never age, or fade. The trees hung over us like impending doom and their leaves fell, soft like lovers' tears. We held each other, as time holds creation and destruction both together and apart, for the sake of everything. And as we parted it seemed to take nuclear fission to separate our fingers, which had long been so tightly closed as to share the same atoms. Our final kiss could have felled kingdoms, but we were born centuries too late for the world to care that much. No one will write an epic for us. There will be no twin willow trees for this Tristan and Isolde.
She always looked at me with those eyes that said "you're finally home!"
Just like in the old time movies, when he returns from war wearing that uniform like a sad story, and she sees him for the first time since forever. That's how she always looked at me, though I had no war to fight, and I'd been gone less than a day. That's how she acted til she went away.
And she's still my everything.
And I wonder if I'm anything.
But there's this feeling I can't shake, like the few extra pounds at my waist. That ways me down constantly as I wonder "is she true to me?" Or in the throes of passion is she passin' thoughts of impure fashion? Does she wish that I was better? I know I do. I wonder everyday how I was so lucky to fall into her fingers, to feel myself between them. To have them pull away from me, and feel as though they take my own flesh with them. My lips feel wetted by her saliva, long after our tongues stop their tantalizing tango. I shouldn't feel this way, I'm the one looking down to her, after all, no one else.
We walked in the park like it was ground-zero, like this was it. The end of the world. We kissed like "Shakespeare in Love," because she will never grow old to me, she will never age, or fade. The trees hung over us like impending doom and their leaves fell, soft like lovers' tears. We held each other, as time holds creation and destruction both together and apart, for the sake of everything. And as we parted it seemed to take nuclear fission to separate our fingers, which had long been so tightly closed as to share the same atoms. Our final kiss could have felled kingdoms, but we were born centuries too late for the world to care that much. No one will write an epic for us. There will be no twin willow trees for this Tristan and Isolde.
She always looked at me with those eyes that said "you're finally home!"
Just like in the old time movies, when he returns from war wearing that uniform like a sad story, and she sees him for the first time since forever. That's how she always looked at me, though I had no war to fight, and I'd been gone less than a day. That's how she acted til she went away.
And she's still my everything.
And I wonder if I'm anything.
Author notes
Outryder
I hope you like it, I saw this contest a while back, and I've really wanted to be in it, but it took me a while to find what to write. I hope you like it.
In a list
A contest entry
- && Think of me when you go to sleep. by blemished irises.
1400 points, ended September 26, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow! That was really powerful!
I liked the references to movies. Especially the ones to older movie types. I have often been envious of those types of love. (And hope to find one one day.) But the references to the newer movies helped to paint a beautiful picture in my mind, as well. Kudos to your deep side!
And with depth like that, you are totally something! -
"We held each other, as time holds creation and destruction both together and apart, for the sake of everything. And as we parted it seemed to take nuclear fission to separate our fingers, which had long been so tightly closed as to share the same atoms."
Very passionate feeling expressed!
How do you say goodbye to a love like that? Perhaps we don't ... their memory still lingers long after they're gone.
Excellent write ... well deserving of the Gold! ...JB♥

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-Does she wish that I was better? I know I do.
-she will never grow old to me, she will never age, or fade.
-No one will write an epic for us.
-wearing that uniform like a sad story
I don't know why but these were my favorite lines. Just the connotations they give, they make me feel sad but somehow nostalgic. I really like this prose piece you should really consider writing more in this form. But I'm sure whatever you write will be beautiful- it always is.
♥elizabeth♥ -
perfect!


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Deeply written. I enjoyed your words. Great emotion and life speaking write. Great.
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ps
sorry i forgot to give my three clapping smiles on my previous comment so im commenting you again

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omg.
this brought tears to my eyes, literally it took my breath away
this is so.
i dont even think there are words to describe this poem
its so amazing.
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