Jealousy,
the desire that
may consume
the soul,
ravaging
everything in its path.
Envy,
alight with lust
and greed,
destroys us from
the inside
and works
its twisted,
evil ways
out.
Both,
two sins entwined
into one
terrible green-eyed beast,
may corrupt
even the the purest of hearts -
turning it black
as it festers
within its selfish rot.
A contest entry
- prewrite/new? by Melissa Gayle.
500 points, ended September 20, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party 2 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 22, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ONLY by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended September 28, 2007, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Jealousy is an Ugly Thing... by tabbykat10988.
1000 points, ended October 25, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Jealousy by Auburn Sunrise.
600 points, ended December 6, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"festers within its selfish rot"
a wonderful ending and an excellent way to sum up jealousy's effects on your mind and body.
Wonderful!
-
very good and you also connected it with envy which no on has done yet... great job and good luck
-tk -
This is realy good I like it very much. A very moving piece.
Yhank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
Wow- this sure is a strong poem with a strong message. Truly leaves the reader examining themselves.
Great choice of font & background colours; it works very well with the theme.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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This is well done, the lines have a staccato feel that for the most part works well.
Your imagery is unique.
Adding your comment:
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