Pain so grand
And yet I don't weep
I love to suffer
And cut very deep
The blood how it flows
Like a perfect design
As it slides down my arm
It's beauty divine
Yet it makes me cry
And I suffer inside
How I hate what I'm doing
And I hate how I cried
It's all your damn fault
How you turned me to hate
All this anger and confusion
That you made me create
You wanted me to suffer
You wanted me to scream
This pure red liquid
It's more like a dream
But i see you there now
Stop starring, translate!
You went and left lies
Now your starring at fate
It's a pity you tattled
Cause they said it's okay
To let out my anger
And keep it away
And the pity you ask?
Well it's simple you see
My anger is now
Been released on thee
So instead of a razor
Slashing skin, making bleed
I'm going to torture
And then i will leave
You left me alone
Left my soul to die
Now it is you
And your going to cry
Your lungs i will rip out
I hate your damned voice
Those words you said
They just left me no choice
Then those eyes i hate
More than anything
I'll scoop those out
I bet it will sting
Your blood's gonna flow
A stream of pure red
I love how it glistens
But you won't be dead
I just couldn't allow that
I'll save you when you drown
But i'm gonna chop your arms off
It keeps me from frowns
Is that what you wanted
A smile on my face
Well you fucking got it
It's been put in it's place
I'll smile so sweetly
When i cut you all up
But don't worry sweetie
I'll stitch it all up
I'm laughing victoriously
Your cheering me up
You thought i'd need doctors
Thats a little corrupt
I only needed you
Isn't it easy to see
I don't want to kill you
Just hear those sweet pleas
I don't want to kill you
Is that what you think
Well no use to try it
Your brain seemed to shrink
But it dosen't matter
Your little fucking needs
They are only of...
Unimportance to me
So you caused me pain
I guess you can see
How it all felt
When you did it to me!
A contest entry
- Dark like my soul by screamin2u.
525 points, ended September 29, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Ok wow, thank you for the entery, and great job, alot of rhyme but it seemed very natural. your writting has nice flow and great talent, keep it up and thank you again,
good luckk in the contest ans for the future!!
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Wow girly this is very dark and deep indeed. I have felt this was so many times it's undescribable. This is a great write you have penned here. I know your pain for I used to be a cutter too. And when I watched the blood dripping from my arms all I Could do was smile...But, inside I was screaming for help. I was tired of My Father & My Mother...and some other people. Pressuring me about thinga that I just wanted to die. But, I over came those feelings. Anyhow Great Write Sweetie. Keep Up The Great Work.
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thanks, yeah this holds a deep dark place in my mind, full of all my anger and what not, and it's nice to be able to release it, it may still be in me, but now i've got rid of it for the moment!
and yeah that suxxs, it's a terribe feeling, and no one should have to feel such!
thanks alot =]
stephanie
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ok, so here's something that you could probably fix (or not fix) first. I thought this line, "It's more like a dream" sounded a bit, confusing. What if you said stream again instead of dream? This is because dream makes it sound good, you know? Also, the stanza, "Then those eyes i hate
More than anything
I'll scoop those out
I bet it will sting"
just really has an awkward rhyme scheme that I do not believe goes along with the rest of the poem. Now, cutting. Well, you are probably going to hate me for saying this, but we have the power to choose how we react to certain situations and different feelings. So therefore, I am unsure if you could nesecerilly blame him for making you cut. Perhaps maybe just blaming him for making you feel a way that you don't know any other way to cope with other than cutting. I personally thought that this was a great poem
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Deep and Dark
I love the rhyme. So much anger and hatred in this piece. Wonderful writing. You poured all of your emotions in this one hun and it shows. Well done on a great piece.
Wayne
x
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oh wow steph you still amaze mw ith your talent you rock really...abotu the poem oh woww its fantastic ive fely liek this so many times but never got that feeling down you did a perfect job love bri xxxx
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A little long 4 me, but wow i love it.
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Wow..I hope you don't really feel that way, cuz it would suck. The poem was kind of scary I'm not gonna lie...lol..But it had a good flow to it and was nicely written, good luck in the contest..Take Care
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well i do, and it does suck, but i don't take it out on the other person, like in the poems ending, that would kinda make me psycho, wouldn't it? lol
yeah it is kinda scary, i guess, lol
thanks alot!!!
you too!
stephanie
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