Gliding the treacherous sea,
tattered sails betray.
Drifting off course
to lands undiscovered.
Hues of the ocean
blackening instantaneously.
Beautiful, entrancing
harmonies fill the air,
Dancing within my ears.
Following colorful symphony,
Must behold the source of beauty.
All other senses deplete,
Mind void of coherent thoughts.
As hypnotized hands
guide toward impending doom.
Author notes
I've always wanted to create a piece about sirens, hope you like it!
In a list
A contest entry
- Whatever by Phineas Red.
900 points, ended September 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 21, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This poem is truly awesome and awe inspiring. I love the way you put this on the page. It was a joy to read.
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There's some nice imagery to this, and it's a good solid poem abotu sirens, but I felt like you could have applied some sort of metaphor to this or something.
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ah, 'impending doom' is a bit of a cliched phrase to end with, but most of your descriptions are quite lovely.
I think it would have flowed nicer if it were left aligned and not double spaced.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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Oh sorry, I meant to change it to left align for the contest rules :/ Thanks for the comment though
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Well Done,
I like what ya did here,
and I thank you sharing.
I wish you all the best in the contest, peace.
A good piece here.
-Timothy aka poeticweaver
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Well thank you
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