Oh Heavenly foe, what intrusion have I made?
Kissed the hands of Satan,
((my innocence slowly fades.))
Was it not you whom led me here to insanity,
((with pure lust and vanity.))
I study my prey as I release my rage,
for too long I was ~//*trapped*//~ in your guilded cage.
For too long you consumed my ♥heart♥,
now you know what it feels like to be c/u/t
a
p
a
r
t.
Oh Heavenly foe, what wicked ways you have shown.
Making me believe he was mine,
{{a *beautiful* bird I can never own.}}
Author notes
Bags of Oranges Don't Leave Bruises
vangoghnights
- A Dirty Pretty Group group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - broken hearts! by Samm..
300 points, ended July 15, 2008, 33 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DirtyPretty - Prewrites or Fresh by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended July 30, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty PW Allowed by theshadowedone.
700 points, ended November 16, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty.Pretty Poems by Cyanide Dreams.
700 points, ended March 7, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite contest by Sadistic klown girl.
1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Sorry I don't understand the dirty pretty aspect of poems. They don't make sense to me. I thought it was a well thought out poem though. It showed talent. Thank you for sharing this.
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very well written. Played the dirty pretty aspect nicely.
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thanks for entering this. I enjoyed this alot. You didn't overuse the dirty.pretty, yet, you made the dirty pretty amazing-like. I love how it flowed so easily. Most of the time, when dirty.pretty is written, most of the time people are more focused on the way it looks instead of its flow. This was written very well. Nicely penned and thanks for the entry. Good luck..
Josh -
well then. I like this. thank you.
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Gee this has been entered into a lot of contest, I must admit to not being a big fan of dirty pretty, whatever it really means. Well done, best to you
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dark....good write and thank-you for entering my contest.
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good luck.
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great job..good luck in my contest,
Love,
Mouse -
Twisted, I like it though... very intense and I like how you bring the inner darkness into this, as you have been somewhat 'tempted'.
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i love love love this an the way you challenge evil and the way you talk about being trapped an free
I study my prey as I release my rage,
for too long I was ~//*trapped*//~ in your guilded cage.
Oh Heavenly foe, what wicked ways you have shown.
Making me believe he was mine,
{{a *beautiful* bird I can never own.}}
heartbreaking and triumphent!
WTG! Good luck in the contest
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I really liked this. Incredible. My favorite part had to be:
-For too long you consumed my ♥heart♥,
now you know what it feels like to be c/u/t
a
p
a
r
t.
...
I relate to that ALL too well. Thanks for entering & good luck ! ♥ -
Very well written, your use of words was simply wonderful. =] I really enjoyed read it, thank you for the entry.
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that was totally captivating. from the first moment i glanced at it i was intrigued. wonderfully done.... dark clear cut feeling behind it, thats my favorite type. wow i am amazed.... i must say the first line is my favorite
Oh Heavenly foe, what intrusion have I made? Kissed the hands of Satan, my innocence slowly fades.
absolutely beautiful. thank you so much for your entry
good luck, but you dont need it
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sorry forgot the applause hehe
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well written...
"now you know what it feels like to be cut apart."
i liked this line.
anyways good luck in the contest
xo -
I have to disagree, this poem was nicely penned and it flowed very nicely. I liked the first stanza the way it was written. well done.
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I honestly didn't enjoy this. The way it was written out just looks very sloppy and it wasn't powerful at all... I just couldn't get into it. Sorry.
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Hm, I myself was staring at this piece of literture that you have penend I was wondering what your inspiration was and what I could possibly find some.
The first line was so...mind blowing as the last. Godh, I just was staring that this piece like oh my gosh. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry, I'm really spacy. -
for too long I was trapped in your guided cage.
For too long you consumed my heart, now you know what it feels like to be cut apart.
This is awesome!!
Check out my poem here, I think you will understand what I am saying.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2793334
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this is really good. well penned my friend thanks for sharing this
keep up the good work
~Angel~ -
this is really good...truely it is
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I truly liked this one!the attitude in here and all these word-combvinations are simply bursting with emotional energy!both structure and style are very challanging!the end is amazingly well penned leaving the reader into wondering!well done indeed!keep up!
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thanks xlovexdeathx
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that's good. like really good.
i'm not kidding you.
;)
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Interesting, I like the sort of scorned feel to it.
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Error: trappesd
Nice rhyming. Love your line on kissing Satan's hand. Loved the idea of a heavenly foe. Would prefer it in stanza form instead of one paragraph.
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