The small child sits quite still,
On the dirty kitchen floor.
She takes small nibbles of the treat.
The sweet chocolate makes her smile
A soft and loving look etched on her face.
Dark brown crumbs fall silently on the ground,
But she takes no notice.
Soon rats will be swarming in, like fat flies.
They’ll lick the dirty floor, sweeping up the crumbs.
Their saliva will leave marks of its own,
And craving for more they’ll hide quietly between the pots,
Greedy eyes waiting for the forbidden treat.
To find the most gusto hidden in the cake,
They’ll tear at the small girl’s hands,
mixing the blood with chocolate.
Hungry fat rats will scratch and hurt to be the sole possessors.
They’ll run off cackling in triumph,
with the dessert stuck to their teeth.
Be careful of who takes advantage of your privileges,
Because they will leave you to rot if only they can be assured
That the treat will be exclusively theirs.
A contest entry
- Crumbs by Danna Hobart.
390 points, ended September 20, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think that the poem would have had more impact if you had let the reader come to their own conclusion. Trust in your words to lead them to the conclusion you want them to draw. If you have done your job right, they will
Thank you for entering. -
wow...the imagery that this piece gave off....WOW!!!!!! the flow was brillant and though this isn't the brightest topic under the sun....this is a great write
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