“no parent should have to bury their child”
-- Fellowship Of The Ring
i like to think he would have been a bluebird,
developed healthy wings of poetry
stronger than moon tide or sun.
i like to think he would have learnt
to sing in the wind, or hold his father’s
hand, if-
if -
the world was still in orbit.
the walls of each room were painted
his favourite shade of sky
but his eyes became shallow puddles
as he melted through linoleum,
softer than snowflakes- & just as
temporary.
there wasn’t enough time to rehearse
the goodbyes; he was folded in feathers
once, twice, again and again
until the whole world was concave,
counter-clockwise,
and so much like that lonely stone
tumbling in white-washed noise.
somewhere there’s a bird brother
sleeping in a box of black holes,
smothered with wide eyed grief
because he fell head first
and your fingers weren’t enough to catch him,
father.
In a list
A contest entry
- For My Homies #8 by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended October 2, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended October 9, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
(critique welcome, but be nice; i feel sad today.)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your quote immediately got me -
"i like to think "
I didn't care for the repetition there but the stanzas themselves are beautiful. The sentiment and imagery stand strong.
This is an excellent piece. Your emotion is strong but not over done and your ending, even though it was more or less a single line, stood so strong and finished the piece beautifully.
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Beautiful?! You need glasses Wonderful. Loved the ending. Actually, loved the whole damned poem. Maybe I'm just being biased? But I loved it.
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Hi, please have this poem written within the next 2 days. That would be awesome. Thanks.
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Your poets are:
Cherokee
Grendyl
& i-kavi-i
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