My old guitar is out of tune
Laid down to rest ten years last June
Dog eared body with one string bust
The other five muffled by rust
Can’t find the will to pick you up
Just take my fill from coffee cup
Remember songs we used to sing
Reverberations from your strings
(chorus)
You had the rhythm,
Now I’ve got the blues
You strummed the beat,
I’ve no dancing shoes
You rang in harmony,
Now I've got discord,
Bless my musical soul,
Please, help me, Oh lord!
The rhythm changed, so did our song
Can’t get it back, times dead and gone
When music was our living soul
Heart beats danced to rock and roll
What ever happened to those days
That passed us by in a happy haze
When rhythm left, I got the blues
Swapped my guitar for bottles of booze
You had the rhythm,
Now I’ve got the blues
You strummed the beat,
I’ve no dancing shoes
You rang in harmony,
Now I've got discord,
Bless my musical soul,
Please, help me, Oh lord!
A contest entry
- give me your best! by breakdown-beatdown.
550 points, ended September 6, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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You have all the ingredient for a great blues song here, gettin' drunk, an old guitar and a sorry state of mind. I had fun reading this - happy trails and good luck in the contest.
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intresting!
good job!
=] -
this is truly AMAZING I play the guitar and this kinda connects for me ya know? i cant explain it but it feels like the words just JUMP at me
thanks for the entry!
much love,
phillip -
I like this a lot. I play guitar, and love sitting around and just playing. The rhythm and rhyming worked well, and it's something I could see myself strumming to.
Also like the picture you painted with this one. Nice job!!
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I like it, keep up the good work
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Fine tuned
I'd only change second verse third or forth line last words to exactly rhyme. Otherwise as a singer, I can see the whole piece working. Poetically it's great. Maybe a picture of an old guitar?
Sincerely
Jennifer
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oh lord...
Love this my friend! I can hear it in my head... it has just the right bluesy touch to it! I agree that you should get this put to music! I think it is great!
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This is a wonderful piece... I could hear it come to life in your own special way. I know your still tweeking and making some changes here and there, but I think it is excellent...
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I can't wait to hear this song when it's done!
It's a fine song - that has better lyrics and a better chorus than most of what any of us can hear playing on the radio these days! It's wonderful to see you writing and sharing it with anyone lucky enough to know you or to click on this link right here on AP! ROCK ON, my rock & rolling friend!
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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This is really good, very bluesy, I'd like to hear it set to music. Well done
Sue
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ohhh wow love this is brilliant well done love xxx
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