I.
snow flakes
drift through atmospheric layers
free-fall
like lemmings
in suicidal bliss:
cherry blossoms
blanket the graves
II.
crisp rose petals
crack like embers
disturbing ancient dust
into chimneys
which smoke the ashes
of letters sprinkled
on oxidised parchments
III.
artificial birds
migrate through destinations:
a constant hunt
to solace hunger
from varicoloured grains
dancing before the eye's gloss
IV.
sand encasements
tumble fervently
in mock betrayal
exposing foetal hopes
to jagged edges
where fusions remain
dormant
V.
breakfast
on Sunday morning
remains untouched:
ants line up
for a share
A contest entry
- Crumbs by Danna Hobart.
390 points, ended September 20, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite? by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended September 23, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite me! ~~ One day only ~~ 500 points to Gold, will be judged tomorrow. by Naridill.
625 points, ended September 28, 2007, 145 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Complexity Exchanges by 2lullabyhaven.
700 points, ended September 6, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive Criticism Appreciated!!!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Extraordinary...thanks for your entry into my contest and good luck to you lol
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thanks so much for your views and for the HM. I'm honoured and glad that you enjoyed the piece. thanks! 
bless ya!
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Very inspiring write, the word play is beautiful and shows alot of talent. A gorgeous write.
Much luck
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thank you much for the HM! i'm honoured and appreciate it!
glad to know you were able to enjoy this.
bless ya!
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Very lovely imagery
Not a big fan of free verse, but if I read more stuff like this I just might be! Well thought out, and congrats on the shinies! Thank you, too, for stopping by my joint and enjoying a slab of 'Mystery Meat'.
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oh, the flattery!
thanks loads... i much appreciate it!
and sorry, i guess you mistook me for someone who did read your poem.. not to worry, i'll be next on the list for "Mystery Meat".
bless ya!
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Wow that was really descriptive and I loved the word choice. It has a sophisticated and delicate feel to it. Very cool.
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thank you so much! i'm glad you enjoyed it!
bless ya!
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Bravo! Your images are spectacular, and the tone is so blasé. I love it. Thanks for entering.
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*bows*
much thank you!! I am honoured to grab another gold in your contest!
well, the tone HAD to be blasé since i realised on a deeper reading that these words could even have a latent scenario behind the obvious: that of a widow trying to hold on to the 'crumbs' of her own life while trying to get on with her restless and (newly) empty life..
feelingless feelings..
glad to notice you enjoyed it!
much gratitude!
bless ya!
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