A parcel filled with hope,
Shining eyes awaiting loyally.
All that I wish for,
Is a smile.
However brief it may be,
The scars will heal,
The tears will dry.
Forgive me.
Beacon of hope,
A candle flickers.
Diminishing dreams;
My heart wavers.
I waited for a response
Nothing, Not even a whisper.
Did you open it?
Did you even touch it?
Red ribbons of silk,
Tied around the parcel;
Dusty.
Forgotten.
Was it not enough?
Did it not matter?
Exculpation is all I seek,
Forgive me if you care.
Patiently,
I'm still waiting.
But I'm dying,
With the candle.
Mannequin smiles,
Mute voices,
No more lies,
Enough choices.
I'm sorry for hurting you,
Is this punishment?
On bruised knees,
I begged at your feet.
Harsh repentance strangling my throat;
Crushed and unforgiven.
A hapless blackened heart;
Cruel.
I was wrong,
I'm sorry but,
You've gone too far,
I've bled too much.
I love you,
How could you...
Author notes
I've fixed it. The new version. ^_^
A contest entry
- Anything goes by crystallynnbradford.
565 points, ended September 19, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - heartbreaker by ExpectingMommy18.
550 points, ended September 22, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cry by xHeartofDarknessx.
300 points, ended September 21, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain or Love by XxESPNCHICKxX.
600 points, ended January 13, 2008, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very Well Writen
it was very hard to decided the winner
but all in all evan though you were all very good
and hope you will enter my next contest comeing soon
so i am now saying tank you for takeing part in my first contest
Kepp up the good work
Thanks
xBx
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wow this is sooooo deep...thank you for entering...this was just what i was looking for in this contest...good luck in the contest!!
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Very nicely drawn. I like how the words draw a picture for me to observe and not just to read. Good job
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This is a very heartfelt and emotive piece. I really enjoyed reading it. I usually list lines that I enjoy, but I loved every line and it would be weird to post the whole poem
Great job!! Best of luck in the contest
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You have some good lines that I can appreciate:
* A parcel filled with hope
* Harsh repentance strangling my throat
* A hapless blackened heart
The poem also depicts opposites: I love you,
How could you... , but at the same time a startling end - a sort of trust has been washed away, when all was given to the relationship, especially loyality.
Good luck in the contest! FransB.
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this is a very interesting take...I really like the deatil and the flow that was put into it....I can also feel that sorta betrayed emotion going on and I could see where you where coming from with this, and I think that you did a wonderful job.
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