Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

O

Missing image
To feel again that moment,
when our eyes met:

Colors spilled into the
center as the birth of a
star found its
way out of inertia.
The breath deep as your
visions sealed my desires,
and raised an ecstasy of flames;
dew... escaped through
foliage, but no one knew.
Ache-filled pockets,
floodgates that immersed
with feelings;
released into the space
between us. I arrived,
as so did you, to that
place layed open by our...
souls.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • secberm
    January 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Colors spilled into the
    center as the birth of a
    star found its
    way out of inertia...?

    Day-um! This wasn't the turning of key in an ignition. This was the revving of an engine. Open road ahead with vision slightly blurred from the heat rising off the pavement. But you remain cool, don't you? Write on.

    DEZ


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    October 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There are personal and private moments, and then are those private moments that swim forever in the beauty of union.
    More than the "O" implies, there is a bonding, and union of respect nurturing the moment held. When it is meant to be, it is like none else.
    Truly a beautiful poem that matters so much more than the "O" but is part of it as well.

    "'Tis here within our sharing then
    that touch is more than just a phrase
    or clever word to work the lust,
    but more of how we're made."

    Excellent poetry. ~Pamela


  • tanzanite
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The mating of souls so often occur when we physically meld with one another. You wrote a beautiful piece here. I love the references to the effect on all sense all throughout. Well done and good luck in the contest.

  • Black Velvet x3
    September 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a delight to the eyes. <3 Wonderful.

  • Eulb kcalB
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    no one knew...ache-
    filled pockets, floodgates
    immersed with feelings,
    all kinds of feelings.
    I arrived, as so did you,


    I remember how this feels, it is breathtaking moment. good descriptions


  • poetryality silver member
    September 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The sensations I got from reading this beauty were overwhelming. I love the use of the word; "inertia", don't see that often. You share with the reader that special moment when two souls meet and know... Splendid work my sister. Very vivid, detailed without being verbose. I wish you well in this challenge. A lovely presentation here. The title is exquisite!


    Much Love Always ♥

    Renee

    • LadyLavender gold member
      September 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Renee, God, I'm so happy you like this. When I receive comments like that and from you...Well, I feel honored!

      Thank you.


  • Amera gold member
    September 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah! Well done, your flow leads to a perfect image of two people destine to meet as thair eyes lock. A feeling of belonging that can't be explained.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    You have such a wonderful way that reveals what you're saying in your poetry.. I wish you well in the contest, and thanks for sharing your wonderful works here.

    PassionsPromise

1 - 12 of 12