Alright, I admit that I leaped to the window
When I supposedly caught a glimpse of
Your old car speeding by my house
And I almost jumped in surprise
At the sound of your name spoken by a stranger
But I sincerely believed
I witnessed your outline between the trees
I nearly swore
I felt your kiss carried on the wind
I was convinced
I detected your orange cologne through the streets
I thought I saw you walking away from me
I saw you right there, your back turned
Walking away from me
And then I remembered that part was true
A contest entry
- Fresh Freestyle Free Verse!! by requiempoet.
900 points, ended September 27, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - sun kisses the earth and i hush my urge to cry. by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended October 8, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ((((ANYTHING)))) PRE-WRITES OK!!>>TO DO WITH .....HEARTBREAK ...LOST LOVE....BEING HURT ....WANTING TO BE BACK WITH SOMEONE....EVERYTHING ALONG THOSE LINES!!!>NO POEMS WITH TROPHYS ALREADY HM OK THO!! by xxlisajazminexx.
420 points, ended October 19, 2007, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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oh my you totally got me with those last lines....
wow.... my heart broke alittle when i read the last line i seriously got alittle knot in my throat ... wonderful poem... just wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
great job!!!!
Thank you so much for entering this creative work of art into my Contest!!!!!!!
much love and respects!!!
XxLisaJazminexX
_____________________________________________________________________ -
"But I sincerely believed
I witnessed your outline between the trees
I nearly swore
I felt your kiss carried on the wind "
^ Those parts, I believe were the strongest in my poem.
I thought the ending didn't give as much impact as it could've.
Thank you for your entry!
x -
Awwwwwwwww the last stanza is so sad! I'm sorry, I hope this is fiction! this is great writing, truly! best of luck in the contest!
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Great ending
I love this ending. It caught me off guard with its poignant unexpectedness. I'd give you applause but I'm out of points. Great job. -
WOW !!!!!!!!! awesome. that was like just WOW!!!!!!!! i feel right now in my life that this poem has a meaning to me but not in the way you have wrote it . it makes me wonder what is going on in the world , my world , i'm glad you wrote this because it is great. best of luck in the contest!!!!!!!!
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