There was no exact moment
No pinpoint second that things changed
But now we both know we built our wall too high
That things will never be the same.
All the little hurts we thought we’d brushed away
Were really piling up on us, heavier by the day
And then one day it got too heavy, you told me to leave you be
That’s when I started to realize that you were replacing me.
I wasn’t your “perfect best friend” anymore
Just a bother, only a pest
You began to see me only for my bad
And leaving out all the rest.
I’m sorry if I hurt you that much to make you feel as though
The only way to get revenge was to let our friendship go.
I wish I could go back to figure out just what happened
Why we grew so apart, why so sudden did this end?
You said it was bound to come about
That in time we’d part in our ways
But I never knew how close it was, how limited were the days!
Four books of inside jokes, and all the memories
It hurts that you could just abandon that, and honestly everyone sees
You’ve changed so much Rachel, you’re not the same anymore
You tell us all we’re still your friends, but none of us know for sure
Every time I see you, I either want to scream or cry
When things between us got so harsh, I honestly wanted to die
How could we go from 3 am conversations and laughing in the halls
To cold shoulders, backstabbing and angry telephone calls?
If only I knew where things went wrong, I could try to make it right
But a solution to this rift has gone, over the horizon, out of sight
I think it’s getting better though, we’re back on talking terms
But it’s going to take more than a hug and I’m sorry to heal those nasty burns
Slowly with time now, I’m starting to see things mend
But if I could have one wish in the world
It’d be to have you back, my twin, my best friend.
Author notes
Sorry, I know it's a bit long. but this is really the only place I can get it out of my system. Hope you don't mind the length too much.
A contest entry
- +--+*+--+ Jealousy and the likes +--+*+--+ by Wulfareika.
450 points, ended October 3, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Jealousy is an Ugly Thing... by tabbykat10988.
1000 points, ended October 25, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Normally I don't mind critical, but go easy, this is a sore subject for me.
Comments
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Thanks! Yeah I have noticed that it is a bit choppy. I actually tried rewriting it to fix that, but for me personally, I like it better like this. The imbalance kind of conveys how it's meant to be read as if stressed or under a lot of emotion.
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GREAT!!!
first of all this poem is brilliant... typo and spelling errors dont bother me... its the message i wanted... i think what your trying to say is your jealous of what you used to have with your friend and now its barely there... it is a little choppy rythm wise... but i think it was very well thought out and who hasnt lost a friend at one time or another... so great job and good luck in the contest!....
-t
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This wasn’t the smoothest read I’ve ever had but it does convey a lot of emotion. A suggestion on : “Were really piling upon us, heavier by the da.y” In this case maybe "upon" should be two words and da.y should be day. You should probably edit. Write on.
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Wow. This I can relate to. It kinda sounds like my best friend, and his ex-best friend, if that makes sense hehe. And then again it reminds me of my best friend because he fell out with one of his closest mates a week or so ago, funnily enough called Rachel. That aside, I can relate too because I've been there with one or two of my now ex-best-friends. It's horrible, and very hurtful, but sometimes it's honestly for the best. Thank you for your entry and best of luck!
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