Upon this parchment page of white
stain blackened words unpenned.
Stark against the starry night
their passing has no end.
The hand that holds the feather pen
yeilds to the mind that sees;
the blinded mind of 'not again'
whose heart is on it's knees.
Bleeding tenses, pretense all,
while no one reads their home;
but reading fences, builds a wall,
whose masons fell with Rome.
Upon this parchment page of white
where ashes fall to wind,
the pen, the scalpal, ancient rite;
tell me, who has sinned?
A contest entry
- Rhyme Time by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended October 12, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Because I got so many entries, I am going to judge this a little different than I normally do. On the contest page the challenge was to write a rhyming poem that shows instead of tells, with imagery and metaphor galore. In addition to those things, I am going to take the meter and rhythm into account along with originality. So I am going to award points for each of those things and then sort of tally them at the end to decide on the winners.
Show vs. Tell: 80/100
Concrete Imagery: 80/100
Metaphor/Symbol/Allusion: 90/100
Originality: 100/100
Meter: 100/100
A very good read. Thanks for entering. Might I suggest Parchment for a title?
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