dew
droplets
glistening
glorious scent
morning air dampness
reminds me of my youth
under canvas at guide camp
waking to the sun and the birds
the earth sparkling, shimmering beauty
closing my eyes I'm eleven again.
cook patrol up early to start breakfast
the wood pile gleaming spiders woven
glittering diamond tears shining
while yawning youth giggling
wait for wet warm weak tea
to remove the chill
frozen noses
thawed by fire
drying
dew
In a list
A contest entry
- DEW by Melodies.
550 points, ended September 18, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - cold and damp by second-born.
600 points, ended October 16, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Stroll Down Memory Lane (PW welcome) by thepoetsings.
700 points, ended August 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Almost felt I was there! Wonderful imagery! Thanks for sharing this lovely double etheree!
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I like the form (even thought it gets a little off sometimes).
I'm not much of a camper - huge fan of climate control, good mattresses, and running water - but I enjoyed this read and your experiences with the outdoors. I also liked that you let the smell of the morning air take you back to another time period. Nice use of alliteration in this piece. I really enjoyed the phrase "glittering diamond tears". Thanks for sharing!
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So...no editorial comments for you, except for maybe some little nitpicky thing that isn't so important...there's pretty much an absence of punctuation except for the last two lines of the first stanza...same goes for capitalization in the first line of the second stanza. Just something that stood out to me; I don't know if those things were done for a reason. But like I said...not so important.
Thanks for your entry! I will comment further when the contest is closed for judging -
oh my...I loved this etheree...I liked its vivid images especially this one..."the wood pile gleaming spiders woven glittering diamond tears shining..." and the heartwarming recollection of camping...
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I really like the form and the background. A lovely memory too. Thank you so much for entering this contest.
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Great poetry
Loved this write and yes it brought back lovely memories to me to
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Oh, I love this one. The imagery is great and brought back a few of my own memories while reading this. Memories can be amazing, and you did a wonderful job describing one for us. I love this poem!
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Wow! Well I only read this cause I used to be a guide but I'm glad I did...a lovely preception of Guide Camp!
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Very nice.
Love,
liquid
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This is a lovely poem, and a wonderful form. A delight to read. Good luck.
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More than Ok, this is wonderful...Congrats on the gold!
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great imagery and alliteration...well, you have mastered this form now...a well deserved Gold on this piece!
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Ah, I do love this dew!
Beautiful memories that become more lovely in the sharing, for they tug at my heart!
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