It really is amazing
How you have moved on
Restarted with living
Your regrets are gone
Just barge into my life
Give me your two cents
Bring along your strife
And leave me with resent
I guess you don’t know
Or you really don’t care
How you left me with woe
To drown in despair
Your maniacal meddling, has revealed the worst
The thought is unsettling, it’s practically a curse
It’s almost like you took a dagger
And then stabbed it in my heart
Then watching while I stagger
You up the ante on your part
Foremost you grab the blade
And then you twist it round
As I look at you; betrayed
You stare back; so proud
You have harmed me so
But my wounds'll heal
Soon you will know
I’ve a heart of steel
So deal it a blow
It matters not
But you sir,
Bleed hot
Await
The
P
A
Y
B
A
C
K
Author notes
Samara11278 username
A contest entry
- Heartache by Beautyfull-x-Angel.
400 points, ended September 18, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes by crystallynnbradford.
565 points, ended September 19, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm so Pissed, fuel the fire by Dark Whispers.
430 points, ended September 23, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Options by Megan Awesome.
470 points, ended November 1, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Damn. This is wicked good. What I thought was really creative was that the poem was in the form of a dagger. That was amazing. AND the poem rhymed. I love rhyming poems. This is one of the best I've read so far. It's also very relatible. When my ex boyfriend broke up with me the onlything I had on my mind was revenge. But I'm over it now ... sort of. Lol. But I cant even BEGIN to find the words to describe what I think of this poem. Amazing doesnt begin to cover it. Thank you sososo SO much for entering my contest and good luck!!!
Megan -
I remember middle school when I had to write a shape poem in the form of a snowman. That's the only time I've done that. I think its safe to say yours is better. You sound like someone who doesn't let go of grudges, and I don't really blame you. Kinda looks like a shot though...
I'm kidding, it's pretty good. Good luck and thanks for entering.
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nice dagger shape and flow, and an impressive winning history.
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Thanks : )
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This is an intreging wrtie, I never really thought much of shape poetry, guess I just needed to see some one to it right.
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I likd this poem alot.
I like the form of it, it really added an effect to the poem.
"Your maniacal meddling, has revealed the worst
The thought is unsettling, it’s practically a curse"
best part. -
WOW!
Loved the form and your wording was right on!
You've got the touch!
So glad to have the opportunity to read this - I enjoy making them too!
Excellent work!
Tang
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"And leave us with resent" - I feel "resent" would be "resentment", the way you use it seems incorrect. It could be correct, it just seems incorrect, to me.
I was going to suggest left-align, but, I see it's in the shape of a dagger or sword of some kind.
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I like the shape-form a lot, though it gets a little wordy in the middle--to fit the form. With the dagger-shaped form, rhyme is holding you back more than it is helping you. The wording, however is clever--a great quality to a piece like this.
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I love how this piece is shaped like a dagger. It adds a little something to it. I also like how I could feel your emotions as I read... your words came out at me like a knife...
Great poetry. Good luck in my contest! -
Not only very well worded, setting the reader in the heart of the story it is telling and letting them feel the anger, but also great shape-poetry, with the poem itself forming the shape of the Dagger in the title.
Excellent and congrats on gold.
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Thank you so much!
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wow this is a really good poem, And i like the form its in although I dont no get what the shape is, it was still a great write
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The shape of my poem is a dagger. Like a small knife.
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Really interesting how it is shaped like this i love it well done keep up the great work!
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wow, dark and kool
i like the scarecrow too--the shape, lol
Thnx for ur entry & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
I do like concrete poetry, it is something rarely seen here at AP. Your poem is a strong one and has been crafted into the shape very well.
Nice work.
Andrew -
oh my. what an awesome poem. the layout is so cool!!!! never would have thought to do something like that....i know what its like though to have a good friend stab you in the back...the payback though...in due time...you'll see that what goes around comes around, and they'll get what they deserve!! but seriously, a great write!!!
♥Rachel♥ -
I love the set up of this poem.
amazing idea you have there. =]
Good job on this.
I love the imagery, the emotion it sets in your head.
amazing amazing.
=] -
this is awesome....totally awesome
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I came here by mistake, but this is very well done.
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very well done i loe it thanx and good luck
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