Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Lady of the night

She reaches to me
the lady of the night,
whispering my name softly,
lovingly.

"Come to me my darling,"
her haunting voice echos,
"Let us take the night,
be as one."
Shivers crawl down my spine
playing their tune
on each,
indevidual
vertebra.

I long
to run my hands through her silky,
silver
hair of moon glow,
be one with her.

Alas though,
our souls shall never
entwine,
for we are two seperate entities,
she of the moon,
I of the shadows.

I am she,
the me
I cannot be.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    November 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This piece really takes you in. I like the entrancing quality and the way you've detailed your imagery. Beautifully done.


  • Celticmoon
    November 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this tale you have woven together here. The alluring aspect of wnating to be what you can't but already being a part of that at the same time... very intriguing. And I love your closing lines too! Thank you for entering and best of luck to you!

    Blessings
    Bel


  • leander Moderators member
    November 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nice poem that you have written here free verse (my favourite ) and a great story you told within the poem

    I found one little oopsie:

    indevidual should be individual

    But apart from that you've done a remarkable job!
    Thank you for entering this contest,
    Leander


  • HugsForEveryone
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very nice! I loved this. I liked the part where you spoke about her hair. And I liked how you said she was of the moon, and you of wthe shadows. I also loved how you used the word "Entities".
    But just one thing..
    It isn't "vertebra." It's "Vertebrae."
    Very nice!!
    ~Pandy~

  • midnight ice
    September 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good point but


  • B Chandler
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ????

    You've confused me a bit as to these questions:

    a] does this has anything to do with halloween?
    b] if so, then what option?
    c] your write is good but do you want to risk a disqualification because of failure to follow rules??


    • midnight ice
      September 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      a) ummmm how does it not follow the rules and
      I wrote my option in the description. and it is option 2 picture F
      c) it is about halloween in the sence that on halloween we get to be someone we are not.. and sometimes you (or at leas I) can feel with all your soul that you want to be what you are acting as and it can be seductive to be someone else.... do you get that

1 - 8 of 8