andrew eisenschenk
I.
their eyes meet,
lost in one of those moments
where words could make sense;
could find form, function.
and thrive.
in this to know, he is not one of those people.
hidden under cloth sheets, strewn about,
another heart, just something more.
but if anyone, her.
this fits.
it could have been the dress: as if a summer dream.
or the subtle movement of her legs,
beneath, and around.
because it was like a song,
the way she came to him.
her echoing cries.
ricocheting back and again throughout
her gentle body.
II.
he’d always wondered if their love were enough
to keep them blinded from temptation.
somewhere inside of him he’d known all along;
could feel that bit of raw human.
and it’s almost always here, where we let go.
III.
just another night.
she sleeps, her back to him.
he is staring up at the ceiling
in the darkness,
trying to make out it’s texture;
the way the paint is in layers,
atop of itself.
he’s thinking about the girl.
her soft smile.
the few moments they’d shared.
wondering,
can he stop this obsession?
because it seems now,
dreaming of her
may be the only reason
to keep going.
and as she rustles in her sleep,
her body next to his,
he feels so far from her.
Author notes
...
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything – and something specific! by Beating.
425 points, ended September 3, 2008, 31 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is excellent.
because it seems now,
dreaming of her
may be the only reason
to keep going.
and as she rustles in her sleep,
her body next to his,
he feels so far from her.
And this is a great resolve. Just the right level of ambiguity. Very well done.
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The best part of this poem was the form. You totally blew me away with that. Also, the title is amazing, and the way you described the girl and her movement was really good. Good job!
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[[[[[[ Andrew]]]]]]
. Your writing is still as great as ever ,[it is most definitely your own style].
In stanza two I believe you forgot one word ...should it be 'he'd known ALL along"?
Reading this it sounds as if you are on a crossroad maybe...time to make some decisions and wondering about them???? A lot of time has passed since.....well , you know since what...
it is also so good to see a picture of you my young friendI hope you are as well as one can be and it is good to see you write again,
much love
reenie/mom#2
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Reenie,
thank you my dear!
no crossroads really, just pondering i guess. there is surely so much to catch up on! i fear that i may have lost your e-mail, any chance i could be given such again?
well, for now, much love!
~me
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