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yestin

i bet there are some broken- hearted among us.

i bet we could breathe even less,

yet still live our lives

effectively.

 

we could place down these tears,

they're but a record of our history repainted,

the last traces of electrolytes

within.

 

they're nothing but a soul,

childhood's apparition.

 

walk away from them;

you can see the sunset

if you'd like.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • ecrivain01
    July 3, 2008

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    This is very nice ...

    albeit a bit disorganized. All in all, a good job. (You don't need the apostrophe and d in the last line.)


  • DrunktankLullaby
    September 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful! especially the last stanza & line! very well penned.


  • Cherokee
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    That's beautiful!


  • Phineas Red
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Haha, I couldnt find your guestbook, so im commenting here.
    hell yah, rosh hashanah!


  • Mr E
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    refreshing.


  • Jalalbad gold member
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Strange but stirring my soul somehow...

    I like this write,
    Smile,
    Judy


  • Phineas Red
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ah, what an awesome ending. Great job.


  • Freestyle Bushido
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    deep

    yeh this is some deep stuff you penned here , love the message behind this poem, really enjoyed this poem.


  • Crawl
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. great timing, justin. great timing..

1 - 12 of 12