My mind thus whirl, upon thine breast
Thy love fair maiden I profess
To thee I cherish as a pearl
Upon thine breast, my mind thus whirl
Averted truth, Revealed your choice
Thine second choice, concealed your voice
Naked you lay, thou heart forsooth
Revealed your choice, averted truth
When passion lives, take leave thy heart
Of voyages took, and seas I’ve chart
These things I’ll shun, my love I’ll give
Take leave thy heart, when passion lives
Thou see no ill, of lustful wants
Commit thine sins, with eyes thus flaunt
Concealed locale, of passion’s shrill
Of lustful wants, thou see no ill
This dread that speaks, I know not him
Thine thirst is quenched, I know not when
Thou mate fall short, his fear thus reeks
I know not him, this dread that speaks
Author notes
This is one of the most difficult form poetrys i have tried but it sounded so beautiful when I started it. I had to finish.
Within the Swap Quatrain each stanza in the poem must be a quatrain (four lines) where the
first line is reversed in the fourth line. In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1, and line 3
must rhyme with line 4 and so on, BUT not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent
stanzas.
Rhyming pattern: AABB, CCDD, and so on
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me something beautiful to put on my wall by Wrozes Thorne.
450 points, ended October 3, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take me Away by McRae by nature.
800 points, ended September 18, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this was so beautiful i love the flow the picture you pen is breath taking it amazing in all it confusing form never try it before might try my hand wonderful poem poetic!bravo!
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Thank U so much. It is such a conflicted form that it took time to organize the thought. thanks again ~mykey
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This Indeed was a powerful read. I am a lover of rhyme and you did it perfectly. I am just learning forms and well I have to say this would rack my brain lol.
great job and best wishes to you.
PassionsPromise -
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Thank U - it will make you work. I enjoyed writing it. Thanks 4 the kind words. ~ Mykey
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This was so gorgeous. I loved the rhyme here and the way it came so naturally. This is brilliant and wonderful. Thank you so much for the entry.
Carrie
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Thank you so much - this was difficult but really challenging as well.
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This is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have not attempted the swap-quatrain as of yet, though I have read a few from another author here. This is magnificent in rhythm and rhyme, not to speak of the imagery it invoked.
It flowed effortlessly and had me tingling from start to finish. You have a very sensitive pen and it is a gift you share with all of us. Thank you for that and best wishes in the contest. Love and God bless, Joyce 
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Thank U very much - it may seem effortless but it wrecked my brain for a while to get it right the imagery I wanted to take to another level as well as take to another era but thanks again for honoring me with you lovely reviews ~ Mikeeee
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Congrats on the award, to be honest I thought this would place higher. It is a challenging form and you carried it off without a hitch. Kudos for you Mykeeeeeee!!!!!!! Love and God bless, Joyce
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Captain Please 'tis excellent
thou hast spoken clearly, I see thy ocean ye hast sailed. Leaving thy fair maiden in dire need. Yet thou request her word to be concealed, speaket not.
Thou must doth this form once again. ye doth well, hasten to thy quill........Novy
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I seek not the mark of Sire, but the scribe of hearts. My thanks my lady for your gracious words of praise and my quill shall hasten its tasks ......... Mykeeee
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