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buried



in this
archaeology of self -
                  she separates dirt from stone
                  & bronze-age tools, deposited
                  in childhood,

seeking foundations, that base
from which her ruin grew -

        she towered when she was young,
        before she'd read of Babel

        & it's

 

                fall

      [ long before her own ]

 

 

 

 

she chuckles at that irony: how she's
digging herself up, before
                            that other burial

 

                            waiting

 

 

at her end ...






In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • aliceramone silver member
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    interesting with good unique language...yes the tower of Babel and the infamous Nimrod...very good piece...a very deep dig-well done...thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.

  • Melissa Gayle silver member
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I haven't been leaving proper comments, I am sorry for that!


    • EvilKate gold member
      September 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh Hush! - with a birthday coming up ... you have every reason for distraction! ... I mean - it isn't every day you turn 21 again eh?

  • Rowan gold member
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    excellent.


  • Jaden silver member
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think the premise is interesting . . . the blend of metaphors . . . the words "ruin grew" seem a little at odds with each other, but contextually I think it's okay.

    Instead of saying 'that irony' it might be better to say 'the irony' . . . what else . . .

    it's good.
1 - 6 of 6