I'm tired-yet I still wish to be
yet no one sees my inner battle to succeed
I want to live
yet I am dead
My soul is dead
but mind thrives to succeed
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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ah no! from the initial words you have said to me i do not believe you are dead. okay, we all feel tired and weary but that does not mean we are dead inside. as you end your poem here alive in mnd in spirit, so...
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Keep fighting! Never give up! There's something great in store for you, that's why the battle. Excellent musing! I do hope you pen something new for 2008.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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You can be dead in your heart and soul and spirit but you still live. I know this feeling, that inner battle is hard, I know. The background doesn't really fit such a sad poem, its too cheery
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great
love your distancing mind from soul. very smart. hope you manage to suceed!!!
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Wonderful
Ur poem is wonderful. I speaks to me. Sorry Emo and Gothic am I. lol... -
the starting line (I'm tired-yet I still wish to be) is fantastic. perhaps you could What a great piece of work! use a little more punctuation in your work. your ending line was really good, its sums up your piece of work really. 5 start for effort!
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