Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Employees Only


Fingers stretched,

metallic

cold to swirl a marshmallow cloud tumultuous.

Heaven beckoned steel beast.

Persuasion pushed pantomime
from sullen lips,

kneading metals quibbled in molten rivers,
tumbling dirty grime from miner's caps.

Night shadows
glistened windowed moon beneath a park
marked employees only.

And still...

star twinkle opened heaven's door.





Copyright © 2007
Pamela A. Lamppa
(All Rights Reserved)

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    September 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent imagery. There is almost a darker feel to it, but I really love it.


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      September 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Melissa Whispered

      Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them very much. GREAT contest. Pamela


  • deanc444
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Atmospheric

    A thought-provoking and imposing representation of a powerful picture. Loved the sound of the sentence beginning 'Persuasion pushed pantomime...' although I amgoing to need you to help me understand it!


  • sunny day
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Pam, Wow, this is totally awesome and so vivid with imagery. We are all employees of life and though we may not be machines in the true sense of the word we are sometimes forced to act like one. This was deep and filled with strong emotion. You bring free verse to a new level with your elegant verbiage and I can never thank you enough for the magic you share with all of us through your gift. Checking all my parts now to see if they need oiling. Best wishes in the contest with this masterpiece. Love you my friend, Joyce


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      September 17, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Joyce

      Thank you so much for your always encouraging and positive comments. I appreciate them so much. ~Pamela

1 - 6 of 6