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Melting galaxies and Miniature heartbeats (Monody Form)

Photo: Ghost Girl Mourning (By Dreaming Mist)


~

Truth had come straight in a blur
as earth has fought to swallow,
the fleeting light of history
leaving our hearts all too hollow.

My stable future, with my joy,
has hidden, joined missing.
The refusal of deaths facts,
is loss of reminiscing.

Melting galaxies,
and white mists that surround.
Is the state of shock,
my mind's all confound.

Miniature heartbeats,
stretching boundaries.
I'm begging her to appear,
Demanding on my knees.

~



Author notes

RIP Whoever: prompt -- melting galaxies and miniature heartbeats

My Thoughts: -- melting galaxies (my world crumbling around me-- dissipating universe)
-- Miniature Heartbeats (spirits held close to us. bound loved ones that passed on --heart beats heard from a different lvl. thus quieter)


My Poetry Form: (this was all too perfect. i already had my subject "death, passing on" and then i went to the poetry form site and was drawn to the style "monody." it's not really a form form... but it says:

" A monody is a poem in which one person laments another's death, as in Tennyson's
Break, Break, Break, or Wordsworth's She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways. "

and the key words in my prompt both started with a "M"
giggle

A contest entry

be honest. giggle

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Catauthor
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is so sad, and still beautiful. It feels like that moment of realization, when denial is still there but you know it really, inside. Great poem, and best of luck to you!

  • in-the-twilight
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... honestly this is one of the best poems in this contest thus far... so beautiful and deep and the author's comments gave me a laugh. Good luck! xoxo Meg


  • riasme
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing

    lise


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I loved your take on this. The prompt was interesting but sparks many unique ideas. I found your interpretation both beautiful and quite relatable. I loved your rhyme too. I have written a Monody myself for one of my sisters friends who was murdered, they are relatively easy and are fun to write. Enjoyed this read.


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are too talented for your own good froggie Amazing work here, I wish you the best of luck in this contest.
    I love your take on the photograph, it's so beautiful and beautifully written.

    "Melting galaxies,
    and white mists that surround.
    Is the state of shock,
    my mind's all confound.

    Miniature heartbeats,
    stretching boundaries.
    I'm begging her to appear,
    Demanding on my knees."
    Amazing work sweetheart.

    Your Master


  • nichtmich silver member
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting form, or suggestion of a form. I'll have to check it out, you make it look easy. The poem itself is filled with such hopeless yearning and heartache. Well done.


    • RIP Whoever
      September 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thanks~

      how come your entry isn't in yet? waiting till the very end to knock us all dead?

      good luck
      and i love the wizard of oz witch on your avatar.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You did a really nice job with this piece thank you for shairng and goodluck to you in the contest.Best wishes

1 - 8 of 8