in the shadows...
sits a Kevlar
a vest
and a M16
as the soldier
sits and bows his head
praying for
his safe return
back into his
wife's open arms
to finally meet
his little girl
half way around
the world from him
he prays
for his soldiers
who won't make it back
hoping they find peace
before they die
he prays
for his soldiers
who will make it back
and hope they find peace
with all they have
done and seen
a knock on the door
time to go
he finishes his prayer
and into the shadows he goes
grabbing his gear
and his rifle
back to the world he chose
protecting those he loves
and good ole red white and blue
along side his
brothers and sisters
in the shadows...
sits a row of graves
markers of those
who have fallen
a cross made out of
their boots
their Kevlar
their M16 riffle
and their dog tags
brothers and sisters
who fell as one
defending one another
not fighting for freedom
but those who
stand beside you
those who will never
be able to forget you
those who will always
remember just what
you gave up
for them
a wife
a husband
a daughter
a son
a life they will
never again see
in the shadows...
sits a widow
with her baby daughter
silently crying
for the soldier
for the lover
for the laughter
for the teasing
for the father
her child
will never meet
for the husband
that could not
make it back
saving his soldiers
own life with his own
a soldier who was
unfortunately
killed in Iraq
another good ole boy
that did not
make it back
in the shadows...
a little girl
sits all alone
in the corner
everyone in class
makes fun of her
for she doesnt
have a father
at least
not one she knows
not one she met
not one she can say
i remember him when....
but she doesnt mind
the teasing
the name calling
for she knows
her father died
for her
for them
for freedom
although she never
met him in person
she knows him through
the stories told to her
by her fathers soldiers
of his bravery and courage
in the war..
by her mothers
late night bedtime stories
about the good times
her parents had
and how they met
from the shadows...
she emerges
with her video
she made of her dad
for show and tell
with the help
of all those
who loved her father
those soldiers
whose life he saved
saying a few words
about what her father
had done for them
in place of his own
along with pictures
and video clippings
she had accumulated
with that video
she put her fathers
wandering soul to rest
for his little soldier
will do just fine in life
for she is just like him
for she puts
one foot in front of the other
and moves on with her life
with that video
the teasing stoped
and the tears flowed
for no one had
a more honorable
a more loving
a greater dad
than her...
Author notes
option 5
broken-army-girl
this is part of a series...
In the shadows...
In the shadows part 2...
In the shadows part 3...
In the shadows part 4...
Partly in the shadows...
A contest entry
- Options, heaps to choose from by ForgottenMemories.
650 points, ended September 17, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round #1 (enter away) by takemypainaway.
390 points, ended March 22, 2008, 52 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Military Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended April 21, 2008, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - military wives, gf. fiances, families..how do they feel? by camo.egg.army.gurl.
1350 points, ended June 21, 2008, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want to be READ? ENTER HERE! by Avatar of Innocence.
525 points, ended September 7, 2008, 131 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
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800 points, ended September 24, 290 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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so sad.
I love reading these...I have read them out of order though, lol so its made it tough to follow.
thank you for taking the time to enter.
best of luck -
touches the soul of all...
Despite previous statements made, I think the Poem and it's rhythm are conducive of a soldier, and a perfect pace for the march we all take through Life, as soldiers or otherwise!! It is easily read, and followed, and says more of a soldiers plight than many before it!
Booyahhh!!!
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beautifully told as are all your stories in this series.
thanks for entering -
awww!!!! that was so sweet, i actually started to almost cry!!! long yes, but worth it. it was very good and kept my attention (and almost made me cry). that was really sweet and really good!!! good job!!!
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this poem from what i've read
so far is very strong imagery
and language wise, but is inhibited
by the format and structure.
first note: i think for this piece
it would be better left alined because
the "centered" of it takes away from
the initial impact, somewhat leaves
the sentences hanging out in their
own air, which is usually the case with
centered, and should be used rarely
in poems with short, fragmented lines.
second note: around line 15 you could
put a space as it tends to run on a bit.
third note: line 37 could use the spacing as well.
fourth note: again with line 64 and spacing. i think for every in the shadows makes a good place to space.
aside from few structural issues
and flattering pleasure to the reader
this is a very powerful poem, that
needs to be read. -
a very appropriate write for this time of year. too often we forget the sacrifices made by others so that we can live in freedom. thank you for sharing this with me tonight and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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OMG
I am still crying...it is one of the most beautiful pieces i have ever read on this site...i was at first daunted by the length but as I began to read I got caught up in this wonderfully sad, but uplifting epic. Thank you so much for sharing...you deserved the gold. ~mandie~ -
OMG
I am still crying...it is one of the most beautiful pieces i have ever read on this site...i was at first daunted by the length but as I began to read I got caught up in this wonderfully sad, but uplifting epic. Thank you so much for sharing...you deserved the gold. ~mandie~ -
This is a fantastic, seemingly true to life poem!!! Very touching!!!!! A bit sad, but oh so true!!!! I love to read military poems!!!! Just letting our troops know our minds as always on them is great, I think!!!! Best wishes in the contest!!!!!!
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Wonderful concept
carried out well. Your poem is emotionally challenging to those who read it. I like it style and format. All in all, a very powerful, moving poem. Thanks for the share.
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A sad but uplifting account of the life of a soldier. You have come up with a wondeful piece of work. Thanks for the read
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Thank you for entering my military contest. You have beautifully written about the loss of a loved one in the service. It is a story that we hear too often now days.
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It's a beautiful piece you have written.
You should be very proud.
There are a few typo's - 'riffles' and 'a M16' should be 'an M16' but that's splitting hairs in an otherwise amazing and very moving poem.
I love the way you begin with 'in the shadows'.
It gives me the impression of a black space with a person coming into a spotlight and having their soul and experiences bared to we the audience.
It's a wonderful visual technique.
I do love this piece and I hope it goes far - submit it to a paper or real-life contest!
I think it would open some eyes, eyes which would otherwise not even consider some of the issues you raise.
luv cass xoxo
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a great look into the life of a soldier. the whole picture. very well done.
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wow, very very good.
It gives a hint of the good as well
as the bad of being in the army.
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very touching and well-written.
riffle -> rifle
show in tell -> show and tell
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thank you i only just noticed that and probably wouldnt have if you hadnt of mentioned it 
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Awesome job!!!
I was mesmerized by your style and your words. This is by far one of the best poems I have ever read on this site. Congratulations to you! I can't wait to read some more of your work. God bless!!! Keep on penning my friend. I wish I could send more applause.
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i wrote a second part to this...im writting a series about a unit... and im thinking of all the things that ive heard happen to my brothers and sisters in arms....
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This is incredibly sad, happy, and lovely, all at the same time! It's written beautifully and you've left me mostly speechless. Amazing job!
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amazing this is truly captivating
my hubby is a marine and this is amazing
great write
thank you for entering!!
**kat -
username please*
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sorry its on my notes now..
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OMG
I love this...it was so movin so true..juss wow...
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SAD
I will remember this threw every thing if I to go to Iraq
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Wow, This was so sad! You have shown what it would have been like for the soldiers in Iraq, and their families when they didn't come home. This was heartbreaking, and Im glad you entered it. Sometimes, we just don't realise something's there until it's gone.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
Sleep-N
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