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lady starlight

what if I endlessly stared at the far beyond
and caught a glimpse of the fairest of queens ?
-a violin virtuose-
what if I felt her within my flesh
in every layer of my soul ?
what if her smile actually ment the world
and her music was,in fact,salvation ?
what if I held her while she played ?
what if we kissed as Chopin conquers the univers ?
what if she was there,underneath my skin ?
and I,deep inside her mind ?

what if we were one ?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • O b l i v i o n
    October 7, 2007

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    what if?

    i think let go off the "what if"s and go for it, with words like your words and a soul like yours.. you'd reach your lady starlight...

    amazing.. just amazing serge...


  • inspired torture
    October 1, 2007

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    then my friend u would be in love deeply truly madly in love... hehe... beautiful piece indeed....
    what if I felt her within my flesh
    in every layer of my soul ?
    what if her smile actually ment the world
    and her music was,in fact,salvation ?

    this part me4ant a lot to me cause for a certain time i've been there n it was wonderful but these moments come n go so fast that the next moment u wonder if that was close to real or not!

    PEACE
    ************JOWELL************


  • gothchyld
    September 26, 2007

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    This is wonderful, I love that inquisitive style that always lingers in your poem: on one hand it seems you are imagining the impossible with that hyperbole, on another it seems you are exploring 'touch' to the tip of the world.

    Although I think this is a bit brief.

    NB: You are right about the ending, I was attempting to create a Mansfield-esque atmosphere, where one questions refuses to confine or surrender to any identity. Yet, at the end, aren't we bounded by needs of life to adapt a certain role, unable to drift around?


  • XFaLLen-StarX
    September 19, 2007

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    awesome as always ..

    too much love involved .. but now that i read it without the "what if"s , it sounded better to me ..

    still gr8 tho!

    me..
    xxx


  • Apsinthion
    September 16, 2007

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    if u were one.. tmeans one of u must'v disappeared in the process.. that's wut sartre said
    i say this is absolutely amazing, and i absolutely loved it, and u are absolutely far beyond this world..




  • bloodflower
    September 16, 2007

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    I already told you I loved ittt..
    you captivated this certain feeling of them being one... and I actually felt it on my skin...
    "what if we kissed as Chopin conquers the univers ?"
    like the music had a crescendo and their unite was the greatest thing...
    Amazing......


    • sarajevo
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      oh well...to be completely honest that was the whole purpose of this tiny piece of smtg greater to come...

1 - 7 of 7